“Avery,” I say softly, closing it behind me.
“I’m fine.” The cracking of her voice tells me otherwise.
I gently grab her elbow, turn her around, and pull her into my arms. “Don’t cry.”
Mumbling into my chest, she tells me, “I’m so tired of crying and feeling like I’ve let everyone down.”
“Then stop crying,” I whisper.
“Jax, you don’t look at me the same. I mean, you couldn’t even have phone sex with me, because I disgust you so much. I
want us. I want you back.”
That’s what I want, but I still can’t do it yet. I’m not at a place to do that. “We need more time, Avery. I can’t just fix it in a couple of weeks.”
“You’re right. But I thought after almost a month, you could at least look at me again. I shouldn’t push you; I know that. Everything takes time, and I need to be patient.”
There’s a lot running through my mind and I’m unsure what to say. I didn’t have this trouble before she cheated. I never had doubts about our love or our future. Seeing my parents makes me remember Avery’s laugh and her constant smile when I would come through the door.
Avery leans back to look at me. After a moment, she says, “Thank you for telling your parents that we were going to New York. I think they actually believed you.”
“Why wouldn’t they? I do want to take you.” I almost feel guilty that we’ve been together for five years, have gone to so many places, but not one of them has been to where she wants to go the most. If we can work through our problems, then why wouldn’t I take her to New York the first chance I get?
“Maybe that can be number two on my bucket list.” She smirks.
I hold back my smile to appear serious as I reply, “If we do something on your bucket list, does that mean we’re going to swim with sharks?” My smile breaks free, making Avery’s smile widen in return.
“Sure, why not? I mean, you live dangerously, right?”
Laughing, I nod. “I do. I hope you’re okay with that, being dragged along with me, I mean.”
Avery’s still smiling when she says, “Anytime. Anywhere.”
Chapter Fourteen
Avery
I wash my face, and my hands are a little shaky. Jax’s parents and Stan have all gone to bed. I’m not sure if Jax is going to sleep in here, or possibly the couch in his office. I dry my face and slip on one of Jax’s old college T-shirts. Ever since the first time I spent the night with him, I’ve always worn one of his T-shirts to bed. I walk out of the bathroom and stop in my tracks.
Jax is in the bedroom. His back is to me, and he’s shirtless. Oh, how I’d love to rub my hands along his back right now. He slides off his jeans, and his muscular thighs make me weak in the knees. I need to focus and remember what he said. I need to be patient.
God, this sucks so badly. I want him. Now.
I shake my head and walk over to my side of the bed, not saying anything. I grab my bottle of lotion, and like every night, rub down my legs and arms. I catch a glimpse of Jax staring at me from the corner of my eye.
“I promise I’ll stay on my side of the bed,” I try to tease him, but I really don’t want to at all.
He clears his throat. “Oh, right, yeah.”
I switch off my light and slide into bed. It feels weird, and I’ve never felt this way before in bed with him. I stare up at the ceiling. “Do you remember the first time I spent the night at your place? You were living with two rookies and had a really crappy apartment.”
“I remember. It would be hard to forget with all I had to hear the next morning. Those walls were thinner than I thought.”
“We didn’t sleep that night, did we?” I smile at the memory.
“No,” he softly chuckles. “Did I ever tell you that I got in trouble at practice the next day? I kept nodding off while I was standing up, but it was worth it.”
“What?” I turn on my side to look at him. He’s still looking up. “You never told me that.” I laugh. “That was the first night we talked about kids, too.”