She was better off without him.
January
When the pains started, Harper was at the studio, editing Juny’s photos from a New Year’s wedding.
When her water broke, she was back at home, thinking the contractions had been more Braxton Hicks, and she’d made herself a bowl of vegetable soup and a grilled cheese sandwich for supper. The moment it happened she’d had a fleeting bit of panic, and then she’d picked up the phone, called Dan and Adele, and prepared for the trip to the hospital. The wait was nearly over, and soon she would have the baby and put her in Adele’s arms and go back to her previously scheduled life.
For a moment, emotion washed over her and she wanted to cling to these last moments, despite the pain, despite the discomfort of the last few weeks of pregnancy, despite everything. She and this baby had made a nine-month journey together. It was nearly over and to her surprise, she wasn’t quite ready. She ran her hand over her engorged stomach, memorizing the hardness, closing her eyes and imprinting this moment to keep close to her heart for always. “I love you, little one,” she whispered. “You’re gonna see your mama and daddy soon. But I’m always going to be here for you, you’ll see.”
And then her body took over and she couldn’t think of anything except breathing through the contractions as she waited for Dan and Adele to arrive.
The drive to the hospital was a blur, though she felt a moment of thanks when she realized the flurries of earlier had stopped and the roads were clear. Dan drove and Adele sat in the back with her, holding her hand, watching her closely and timing contractions. When a pain hit, they breathed together, and Harper felt tears burn her eyelids.
This was such a huge moment. She’d wanted to do this for her friends so badly, but she’d grossly underestimated how difficult it would be to separate herself from the baby that wasn’t hers. In the end, D
an and Adele would go home, a complete little family, and she’d be alone...again.
“You hang in there,” Adele soothed, rubbing Harper’s hand. “I’m here. You squeeze as hard as you need.”
Harper gasped and laughed. “I’ll break your fingers. Just keep talking to me. It helps.”
“You bet.” Adele let out a long breath, and Harper followed her lead. She looked up as the contraction waned and Adele cleared her throat. “Harper...” Her voice was thick. “I know things got a little weird in the beginning, and it seemed I thought more about the baby than I did about you.” When Harper started to protest, Adele shook her head. “No, don’t say it’s not true. Drew said as much to Dan at the time, and brought us to our senses.”
At the mention of Drew’s name, a familiar pain shot to her chest. She pushed it aside.
“We were insensitive, you know? And excited and scared and overwhelmed. But you... Harper, you’re our miracle. You’re a part of our family, and you always will be.”
Harper sniffled a little and squeezed Adele’s hand, gently. “And you’re my family, too,” she whispered. “The kind you choose, you know? Besides, I forgot all about that months ago. Going through this with you...it’s been a blessing and a privilege.”
There wasn’t much time to talk about it more as another contraction hit, faster than before. They got to the hospital and were taken straight to a room. Nurses bustled in and got her into a gown, hooked up a fetal monitor and checked her progress. With her pains only four minutes apart, things were moving along so quickly she could barely catch her breath.
“You had pains all day, didn’t you?” the kind nurse said, reading the results of the monitor.
“They started this morning. I thought they were more Braxton Hicks.”
“You should have called!” Adele chided, sitting on the side of the bed and tucking a stray piece of hair behind Harper’s ear. Dan stood behind, looking slightly out of place. But Harper knew he wanted to be here and so she sent him a smile.
“You spent most of the day in first stage, I think,” the nurse said. “The good news is, it won’t be long now.”
And it wasn’t. Less than an hour later, Isabelle Janice Brimicombe came screaming into the world, much to the delight of her mother and father and Harper.
“We want you to be her godmother,” Adele said, once the room had quieted and the three of them were left alone for a few minutes. Adele held the baby in her arms, and Harper felt a rush of emotion she couldn’t quite define. Happiness and sadness and fullness and emptiness all at once, but she knew that no matter what, she’d be there for Isabelle, and answering yes was the easiest thing in the world.
“We can never repay you for the gift you’ve given us,” Dan said, his hand on Adele’s shoulder. Tears glimmered in his eyes. “Harper, I...” Overcome with emotion, he laughed a little as tears slid down his cheeks. “I have a daughter because of you. Thank you hardly seems like anything.”
Of course she was happy for them. This was what she’d wanted for Adele. Now Harper had roots in this town because of their relationship. It was her home. There was nothing more important.
Adele handed the baby to Dan and took Harper’s hands in hers. “I want you to know,” she said quietly, tears clogging her voice, “that you are the sister I never had and always wanted. I love you, Harper. Dan’s right. I can never repay you for what you’ve given us.”
She sniffed, emotion getting the better of her. “I feel the same, sweetie. Besides, no repayment is necessary.” She gave them a tired smile. “Now, as much as I love you guys, the nurse is going to come back in a few moments, and I’m going to have a shower and put on some pajamas. I’m not sure I need spectators for that.” She looked up at Dan, who was staring at Isabelle’s face with such awe her heart melted. “The baby will spend the night in the nursery and we’ll all go home tomorrow, right?”
Adele nodded. “Yes. Oh my gosh, yes. Home.”
The nurse came in with a smile. “Okay, happy family. It’s time to get Harper fixed up. You feeling a bit wobbly, hon?”
She nodded. “A little, but I think I’ll be fine.”
Once Dan, Adele and the baby were ushered away, the nurse gently helped Harper out of bed and to the bathroom and shower. “Take your time,” she said, “and go ahead and sit down if you need to. The warm water is going to feel great, and before you know it we’ll have you in a comfy bed for a well-deserved sleep.”