And when he opened the door, he jumped back when he saw her standing there, her hand raised to knock, a startled look on her face.
“You were at the pub,” he said, then wondered if he could sound more like an idiot.
“I was. And then I thought I’d try again. One of your staff said your flight had been delayed.”
“A couple of hours, yeah.”
She nodded. And then he clued in and stepped back. “You’d better come in.”
She stepped over the threshold carefully, looking around. “This really is a lovely space,” she said quietly. “The last time I was here it was dark and I didn’t really look around.”
“Thanks.” He wanted to ask why she was there, but figured she’d get to it eventually.
She bit down on her lip. “I, uh, can we talk?” Her hazel eyes slipped up to meet his. “The last time... We didn’t leave things very well.”
It hurt to see her, right in the middle of his chest, but he had to figure out a way to deal with it, for their child’s sake. “Of course we can. Do you want to go upstairs or go for a walk?”
She smiled up at him. “Would it be odd to say I’d like to sit on one of those benches on the Green?”
“It’s a beautiful afternoon. Of course not.”
He locked the door behind him and they crossed the street, walking along the perimeter of the Green until they found an empty bench. A group of teenagers were having a game of football and their shouts punctuated the air, a pleasant sound that reminded Jacob of childhood summers and a time when life was, if not carefree, at least less complicated.
“Jacob, I’m sorry.” She reached over and took his hand. “I’m sorry for all the things I said that morning in the garden. I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry for so much.”
His throat tightened. “I...don’t know what to say.”
“Say you’ll forgive me.”
“I forgave you a long time ago. I forgave you before I ever left.”
“When you wrote the note that came with this?” She moved the collar of her blouse to reveal the butterfly necklace, which winked in the sunlight.
It looked perfect on her, just as he’d imagined. “Yes,” he murmured. “When I wrote that note.”
“But you still left.”
He lifted his gaze from the necklace to her eyes. “I was hurting, Charlie.”
To his surprise, her eyes filled with tears. “I know. I’m sorry. You asked and I panicked and I said everything wrong.”
“I’m not sure there’s a right way to say it,” he said, and looked away.
“There were things I should have said, too,” she whispered, reaching for his hand. “Like I love you. Like I’m scared to death. Oh, Jacob, I wasn’t ready for that.”
“Then tell me what you need. I’ve gone over and over it in my head and the only way we’re going to be able to move forward is if we’re completely honest with each other.”
She nodded, blinked away the tears. “You’re right. And you were right that day, too. I threw a lot of stuff at you out of fear, but the truth is I was too afraid to trust in it. That part is on me. What I need from a partner is just...honesty. To know that I—and my child—come first. I know you don’t have an agenda where I’m concerned. In fact, I’m pretty sure the fact that I’m a Pemberton and Aurora Germain’s daughter is a complication and not a perk.”
He smiled then. Honesty and putting her first? Easy.
* * *
Charlotte wasn’t sure why Jacob was suddenly smiling. This was by far the hardest thing she’d ever done, especially considering she was still afraid. Over the past weeks she’d come to realize that guarantees were impossible. That loving Jacob wasn’t something that was going away. They were having a child together. She had no idea what a relationship with him would look like...what marriage would look like, but she had to try.
“Charlie,” he said, his voice warm and sure, “you and our child will always come first. I meant what I said about the past. It’s been far more about guilt than love for a long time. It took you coming along to make me see it. I know this has happened fast, but sometimes you just know. That night, with you, it all just clicked. I walked away because I thought it was what you wanted. But in Paris, I nearly missed my flight to London because I wanted to go after you.”
Her heart leaped. “I wish you had.”