“Have you met Summer?” he asked. “She’s nice enough, but I can’t get past the constant hair color changes or the nose ring. I suppose that makes me the uptight one, huh?”
“If the shoe fits,” she replied. “So … was she the one painting faces today? She stood out.”
“That’s her.” He took a sip of his coffee. “How was your dinner?” he asked, resting his elbows on his knees. “I saw you ate with my mom, and Tom and Abby.” He looked over at Lizzie. “Almost like you were avoiding me.”
“I don’t avoid people. Besides, you were the one who walked away from me.”
“About that…”
She noticed he ‘d put his hands together and was rubbing his right thumb over his left knuckle. Nerves?
“I don’t know what people have told you about me. But it’ll get back to you eventually. I should probably just give you the lowdown now to avoid any future awkwardness.”
“Jeez, Josh. We’re coworkers. If this is about your personal life…”
“In a town this size, personal life gets talked about. It just goes with the territory.”
“Right.”
“The thing is—”
He started but then stopped, and Lizzie simply waited. Jess turned on strings of patio lights that lit the yard in a soft, colorful glow, and someone brought out glow bracelets for the kids who were running furtively between lots, looking for “ghosts” as the evening deepened and the sky slowly melted into darkness.
He cleared his throat. “The thing is, my cousin Tom was sweet on Erin first, and I stepped in and stole her away. I was in med school and her dad is a doctor. They approved of me whereas Tom … not so much. I had prospects and he had a tool belt. And it wasn’t that I didn’t love her. I did. But I knew she didn’t love me the way she loved Tom. And I married her anyway.”
Lizzie let out a big breath. “Holy crap. And you and Tom still get along?”
Josh made a choked sound that she figured was half laugh, half “are you kidding?”
“Last year I moved back home. At my homecoming party, I coldcocked him. I was a pretty big jerk. We’ve made peace since then. Tom fell in love with Abby, and I stopped blaming him.” Josh paused and stared out over the bay. “It wasn’t like he ever made any trouble for us. He didn’t have to. Erin’s feelings for Tom were more than enough to stand in the way of our being happy. Anyway…” He put his hands on his knees and pushed so he was sitting up straight. “What I said before was me letting a little bitterness back in. I try not to. Sometimes I just get caught up in looking back and wish I could have changed things.”
“She broke your heart.”
“She did. And did a good number on my ego, too. Everyone seems to think I should get back out there again. Get married and have kids and act like my life before didn’t happen. I just wish they’d let me do it on my own time.”
“I get that.”
“You do?”
“Yep.” Her insides were trembling a bit. Josh had been really open with her. A lot of disclosure, and she felt a little obligated to share in return. But there was more than obligation, too. She was starting to like him. Sure, she’d been surprised by his casual dress and manner at the office, but she’d also come to see that he set exactly the right tone for the clinic. He built relationships and trust with his patients, patients he would see year after year, unlike doctors who worked behind the revolving door of an emergency room.
She didn’t have to worry about ongoing cases or seeing people more than once. Emergency medicine was like that. You triaged and assessed and moved them on … and then you moved on.
At least that was how it was supposed to work. But the Miller case was not something she was going to talk to Josh about.
“Liz?”
She looked over to find his eyes watching her closely. Goodness, he looked like he cared. Like he was really listening. She swallowed. No wonder he was a good doctor. If this was his bedside manner …
“In my case, the people pushing me to move on is actually, uh, me,” she admitted. “Hanging with Charlie again has been good for me. She made me see that I was pushing myself too hard to avoid dealing with my own pain.”
“From your dad’s death.”
Her stomach twisted. “Yes.” It was partially the truth, anyway. Everything that had happened since then was a result of her not dealing with her grief. A result of her own denial.
“And what about your mom? Is she still in Springfield, too?”
Lizzie nodded, the sense of sadness and futility seeping into her again. “Yes, but she’s in full-time care. She has Alzheimer’s. My dad was having a hard time caring for her at home. He cut back his hours, but there came a point where she required more than he could provide, even if I tried to fill in the gaps.”