“Maybe he’s your higher power, maybe not.” Quilla shrugged. “They don’t push it. Anyhow, I think he’s feeling really bad, and he’s all that conflicted, so he probably went off to have a whole bunch of sex to get it out and done, and so he won’t have to feel bad for a while.”
After Eve’s ears stopped ringing, she decided it actually made sense, or would under different circumstances.
“I’ll look into that,” she said, figuring it was the best response.
“Okay. I gotta get back before they miss me.”
She zipped off, and the room suddenly felt bigger, quiet and still. Blowing out a breath, Eve sat on the side of one of the beds for a moment to let the quiet in.
The kid’s brain was like one of those rat things—hamsters—on a wheel. Spinning, spinning. But she’d actually turned over considerable information, once you pulled it out of the maze of thoughts and jumbled words.
So she sat a moment longer, making a few notes now in case anything slipped away back into that maze.
She went back to Nash’s quarters, found Philadelphia in the shared living space with Shivitz urging her to finish the soother, and Peabody on guard.
“Lieutenant, I want to apologize for falling apart that way. I’m generally more sturdy.”
“No problem. Ms. Jones, I can get a warrant, and I’m going to have my partner start that process—now. Peabody.”
“Yes, sir.”
“But it would be better all around if you gave permission, on record, for my partner and me to begin a search. I’d like to start in the quarters. I’ll have more officers come in, with the warrant, to assist with a search of the entire premises.”
Eve figured the woman couldn’t get any paler, but her voice dropped to an unsteady whisper.
“You’re going to search the home?”
“With or without your permission, yes. It would be easier, all around, with your permission.”
“You should contact your lawyer, Ms. Jones,” Shivitz began.
“We have nothing to hide here.” Straightening her shoulders, she patted the matron’s hand. “I’ll give my permission, and I’ll contact my lawyer.”
“Those are good choices,” Eve told her.
“I think it’s obvious now that my head’s cleared, Nash just needed some time alone, away, to process all this. I know how much it’s affected me, and he tends to hold things inside, to stand as the strong one, the head of the household. I think he just needed some time, especially when I was so emotional when I came back from talking to you. He must have found a retreat—there’s always one going on, and he’ll contact me as soon as he’s settled. He’ll realize he forgot his ’link, borrow one, and let me know where he is.”
“I’m sure that’s it.” It was Shivitz’s turn for a bolstering pat.
“Could you put together a list of current retreats for Lieutenant Dallas? Or it might be quicker, Lieutenant, if Matron checked herself if Nash registered for one today.”
“Why don’t we do both? Peabody and I’ll get started up here.”
“Do I have to stay?”
“That’s up to you.”
“I’d rather not watch you . . . search our things. I’ll go down to my office, contact some friends, some associates. It might be someone knows Nash’s plans. I’ll feel much better when I know where he is, and we can straighten all this out.”
“That’s fine.”
“I’ll go down then. Matron.”
“It’s all going to be fine.” Shivitz hooked an arm around Philadelphia’s waist, led her from the room. “You’ll see. You have faith now, and everything will be fine.”
“What the hell was in that soother?” Eve wondered.
“I think Shivitz tipped a little liquor in it, and I think Philadelphia’s just gone straight to denial. She can believe what she just said, and delete the rest. Otherwise, it’s too much to deal with, and she has to deal. She’s wired that way. She has a houseful of troubled kids to keep in line, to keep calm, so she has to deal.”