"You still want to go through with it, don't you?" he asked, his voice cracking with fear of disappointment. I took a deep breath. "Everything's set," he added before I could reply. "I have the station wagon prepared like an ambulance so we can drive her back to Cypress Woods, pretending it's you. I'll follow in Paul's car and help get her into
the house. He's still willing to go through with it all, isn't he?"
"Yes, but . . Beau. . . what if I can't do this?"
"You can. You must. Ruby, I love you and you love me and we have a daughter to bring up together. It's what was meant to be. We have a chance to defeat Fate. Let's not throw it away. I promise. I'll be at your side constantly. I'll make sure it works."
Strengthened by his words, I felt myself regain composure. The blood returned to my face and my heart stopped pounding.
"All right, Beau. We'll be there."
"Good. I love you," he said, and hung up. I heard another click and realized Paul had been listening in on our conversation, but I wasn't going to embarrass him by letting him know I knew. He left to complete some last-minute errands and I fetched Pearl after her nap and fed her lunch. Afterward, I took her up to my room to wait. My small suitcase and my pocketbook looked pathetic beside the vanity table. I was taking so little with me, but when I had first returned to the bayou, I had brought even less, I reminded myself.
I became very fidgety. The minutes seemed more like hours. When I gazed out the window, I saw clouds moving in from the southwest. They were growing thicker and longer. The wind became stronger and I realized a storm was brewing. A bad omen, I thought. I trembled and embraced myself. Was Nature, the bayou, conspiring to keep me from doing this? I knew Grandmere Catherine might say something just like that if she were at my side now. Lightning flashed and there was a roar of thunder that seemed to shake the house.
Just a little after two o'clock, Paul came to my door and peered in. "Ready?"
I looked around one final time and nodded. My knees were knocking together and my abdomen felt like a hollowed-out cave, but I lifted Pearl into my arms and leaned over to get my bag.
"I'll get it," he said, and picked it up before I could. He gazed into my eyes, searching for my true inner feelings, but I looked away quickly.
"You're going to miss it here, Ruby," he said, piercing me with his diamond-hard glare. "No matter how much you tell yourself you won't, you will. The bayou is as much a part of you as it is a part of me. That's why you returned to it when you were in trouble," he said.
"It's not like I won't ever return, Paul."
"Once we make the switch and we go through the performances, it will be impossible for you to return as Ruby, though," he reminded me sharply.
"I know," I said.
"You must really love him to do all this to be with him," he said, his voice dripping with envy. When I didn't reply, he sighed and gazed out the windows at the canals for a moment. Poor Paul, I thought. A part of him wanted to vent rage and anger at both Beau and me, but that part of him that loved me prevented it and left him filled with frustration.
"Disregard what I just said," he muttered. "If he abuses you or betrays you, or something unexpected happens, I will find a way for you to return," he promised, and turned to look at me intently. "I'd turn the world topsy-turvy to get you back at my side," he added.
Was this why he was being so cooperative? I wondered. Because he wanted to be there for me should something go wrong? Deep in my heart I knew, no matter what he said or did, Paul would never give me up.
He went into Pearl's room to get the suitcase of things I had packed for her and then we all descended the stairs quickly.
The rain had started, so we had to ride with the windshield wipers wagging monotonously. As we left the long drive, I turned back once to look at the great house. Our lives are filled with so many different sorts of good-byes, I thought. We can say good-bye to the people we love, or the people we've known most of our lives, but we can say good-bye to places, too, especially the places that had become a part of who and what we were. I had said good-bye to the bayou before, once thinking I would never come back, but I always believed that if I had, it would still be what it had been to me. In a strange way, I felt as if I were betraying it, too, this time, and I wondered if a place could be as reluctant to forgive you as could people.
The rain came down in a solid sheet. Despite the humidity, I had a wintry feeling rush through my body, and shuddered. I checked Pearl, but she seemed quite comfortable and content.
"Isn't it funny how far we will go to be with someone we think we love," Paul suddenly said, speaking softly. "A grown man will behave like a young boy, a young boy will do everything he can to appear like a grown man. We'll risk our reputations, sacrifice our worldly possessions, defy our parents, even our religious beliefs. We'll do illogical and foolish things, things that are impractical, wasteful, just for a moment of what we think is ecstasy on earth."
"Yes," I said. "Everything you say is true, but knowing it's true doesn't keep us from doing these things."
"I know," he replied bitterly. "I understand better than you think I do. I know you could never fully understand me and why I wanted to be with you so much, but I have a feeling you appreciate my feelings for you now."
"I do," I said.
"Good. Because you know what, Ruby?" He looked at me with icy eyes. "Someday you're going to come back." He said it with such assurance, I felt a chill in my heart. Then we turned onto the main highway and sped up, shooting into my new destiny with a fury that took my breath away.
Pearl fell asleep during the ride. She usually did fall asleep in the car. Two hours after we had started, the rain began to move off and some sunlight pierced through the layer of lighter clouds. Paul studied the directions Beau had given him earlier, and less than an hour later, we found the road to the ranch.
The main building of what Daphne used to refer to as her ranch was chateauesque. It had a steeply pitched hipped roof with spires, pinnacle, turrets, gables, and two shaped chimneys. The ornamental metal cresting along the roof's ridges had elaborate moldings. Both the windows and the doorway were arched. To the right were two small cottages for the servants and caretakers, and to the right of that, some thousand yards or so away, were the stables with the riding horses and a barn. The property had rambling fields with patches of wooded areas and a stream cutting across its north end.
Like some chateau in the French countryside, it had beautiful gardens and two gazebos on the front lawn, as well as benches and chairs and stone fountains. When we arrived, the caretakers were busily at work trimming hedges and weeding. They were an elderly couple and looked up for only one curious moment before turning back to their work so fast, it was as if someone had snapped a whip.
Beau was in the doorway before we had parked our car. He gestured for us to come in quickly. Pearl was still asleep, her eyelids barely fluttering when I lifted her into my arms to follow Paul to the house. Beau stepped back, smiling softly at me.