It wasn't until that moment, until I had traveled
on my own cloud of ecstasy and seen what love and
true passion could be, that I fully understood Mama's
burden and felt truly sorry for her. I wished I could
tell her, but I knew if I uttered a single word that
suggested anything, she would forbid me to leave the
house and find a way to drive Pierre from my life
quickly. Some secrets, I thought, were necessary, but I
believed, I hoped, that maybe there would be a time
when they wouldn't be.
Of course, I was still very young and had no
idea how dark the future could be. Only Mama knew
that; only she had the vision. For the moment I didn't
want her to look into my future. I'd rather be like one
of my swamp turtles and pull in my head until the
storms passed. The question was, did I have as hard a
shell with which to protect myself?
Daddy surprised us by not getting drunk and
staying away as he usually did whenever he got into a
row with Mama. He returned home that night, sober,
and he was up early the next morning.
"I got me an important job today," he said when
I came down to the kitchen. "Those rich people from
New Orleans you were asking about the other day sent
word they were returning for another hunting trip." "Monsieur Dumas?" I said after a slight gasp. "Oui. I'm buying a new pirogue because they're
bringing a few more with them," he told me. "Got me
a loan yesterday. I have to pay a lot of interest
because someone won't lend me the money without
interest," he added, glaring at Mama. She pretended
not to hear him complain. "Anyway, they're bringing