"Did he actually rape you?"
"Almost," I said. "But there are enough charges
beside that against him to put him away for a long
time."
She looked away and then took a deep breath. I
couldn't be sure, but it looked like she was pulling
back tears.
"I felt terrible the day you ran off and not
because of the reasons you think. I knew Mom would
have wanted me to look after you and Daddy expected
it. I left you out there all by yourself"
"No, you didn't. Brenda. Besides. I was with
Uncle Palaver."
"He left you. too. You were with strangers." "Not long. They've become my family." She winced, "That's good." she said. She played
with her remaining food for a few moments. I took
advantage of the silence and ate some of my salad.
She continued, her head down. "I made a terrible
mistake with you. April. I should have been more
truthful and forthcoming about my sexuality.' "No, you--"
"Yes. I should have. Even back when we were in the public school together. I should have taken you into my confidence. I know how confusing it must have been for you when you first realized and how that must have impacted on your own identity. It's very important to be comfortable with yourself, with
your own sexuality, no matter what that might be.' "I think I am. Now," I said.
"Good, but I left you out there to wallow in all
this... distortion. I'm sorry I've been too involved with
myself.'
"I don't blame you for anything. Brenda." "You should, but okay, I'm glad if you don't,"
she said. "Anyway, what do you want to do now?Will
you come live with me in Seattle?"
"Will I be in the way?"
"Never. I'm not going to lie to you, however.
I'm with someone again, someone not as absorbed