"Suddenly, he crossed the space between us and kissed me on the lips. It was sort of clumsy. He practically fell on my face.
"'I hope you don't mind,' he said.
"I shook my head. He made it sound like he had just helped me with my books or something. Then he did it again, only this time it was longer and better.
"'You're the first girl I've brought to my room,' he told me softly.
"I don't know . . ." I looked at Doctor Marlowe. She nodded so slightly to encourage me, only I could tell she was doing it, I thought. "I guess I wanted someone to say nice things to me so much, I would have welcomed the lips of Jack the Ripper. My heart started to beat wildly. We kept our faces very close, the tips of our noses practically touching. I closed my eyes and he kissed me again."
Cathy really began to squirm in her seat. She looked like she had sat on an anthill. Doctor Marlowe's face took on a worrisome expression. Star stared at me with almost an angry turn in her mouth, but Jade just gazed with eyes that suggested boredom. Did she think I was some little teenager, miles below her world of romantic experiences? I'll show her, I thought.
"Our tongues touched this time," I said emphatically. Jade's eyebrows rose a bit. "Some boys are very sneaky about how they get to put their hands on you, but Charles Allen just went ahead and brought his hands up along my ribs and pressed his palms over my breasts."
Cathy lowered her head and stared at the floor. "Wow," Star said. "Mr. Proper loses control." She raised an eyebrow as she looked at me.
"I don't let just any boy touch me," I said sharply, "so I pushed his hands away."
"What did he do then?" Jade questioned impatiently.
"He ignored it and kissed me on the neck. No one had ever kissed me like that on the neck before. The feeling scared me. It shot right through my body and I pulled back to my side of the sofa.
"He was so polite, he started to apologize, but I didn't want to hear that. I was confused. My heart felt like it was a kaleidoscope of emotions. I was afraid and yet I didn't want him to stop. I wanted to be kissed and held and needed.
"'Stop being so damn polite,' "I ordered him "Now he was the one who looked confused.
"'I'm not being so damn polite,' he said. 'I just don't take advantage of people, especially when they're vulnerable.'
"That damn vocabulary of his, I thought. 'What's that supposed to mean?' I demanded.
"'You're at a weak point because of what's happening with your parents,' he said, which just got me madder. He was a lot smarter than I ever imagined He was manipulating me.
"'I am not,' I fired back. 'I don't care what they do to themselves.'
"He smirked arrogantly. I felt like slapping him.
"'The only reason you stopped is you're afraid,' I told him.
"'What do you mean? You pushed me away,' he said. "You were just moving too fast. Girls do that when boys move too fast.'
"Laughter rippled over his pretty-boy face.
"'What's so funny?' I demanded.
"'I was hardly moving very fast. You're just afraid, which is normal for a girl who is still a virgin,' he said.
"I was afraid, of course, but thanks to Doctor Marlowe, I now know I was afraid because I feared being like my mother, who, according to what my father said, found sex painful and unpleasant. I thought I would end up just like she did and drive away someone who had loved me," I recited. Doctor Marlowe nodded, pleased.
"So what did you do?" Star asked.
"'How do you know I'm still a virgin?' I fired back at him.
"He laughed that arrogant laugh and said, 'Oh, you're a virgin, all right. Pure as the driven snow.'
"'That's what you think,' I said. He laughed again and I said, `Do you want to touch me?' "
"Is she telling the truth?" Star suddenly asked of Doctor Marlowe.
"You'll have to ask her and judge for yourself, Star. You'll all have to do that with each other."