"What's the matter, this crowd's not good enough for you?" Jeanie asked me.
I looked at her.
"I never sang a solo." I said, hoping that would be enough.
"Tonight's the night you do," Michael declared.
Shawn started to help me up.
I shook my head again.
People were clapping on the right, urging me to get up. I continued to shake my head, but by now they were all cheering at our table, the girls the loudest, hoping I would make a total fool of myself.
For once., I thought Mama had named me correctly. My blood seemed to freeze in my body. I was numb with fear. And then. suddenly, I heard a familiar voice behind me.
"Go on. Ice."
I turned to see Balwin Noble, the senior at school who played piano accompaniments for our chorus.
"Balwin! What are you doing here?" I cried.
"I thought you said she doesn't talk,' Sonny shouted at Shawn,
"I come here often and play with Barry Jones. Do 'Lullaby of Birdland,'" he urged. Occasionally, when no one else was at the rehearsal yet, he and I would fool around and I'd sing. Like Daddy, he loved my rendition of Ella Fitzgerald's hit song. "I'll get on piano."
"Really?"
"Who the hell is this?" Shawn demanded.
"I play piano for the school chorus," he told him.
"Well, this ain't school, stupid.'
"I won't go up unless Balwin can," I declared.
The audience was getting impatient. People were clanking silverware against their glasses. Shawn looked around.
"Let him go," Michael said. "What do you care?"
Shawn stepped aside and Balwin and I walked to the small stage. They all did know him. The piano player got up to let Balwin take his place.
"Hey. Balwin," the bandleader said. "you sure about her? This isn't an easy crowd tonight."
"She's in the chorus. She makes it," he bragged. Then he leaned over and said. "C'mon, lets show them." He turned to the bandleader. "Do 'Lullaby,'" he told him.
"You've gotit."
My heart wasn't pounding. It was clamoring, raking like a caged beast in my chest. The only thing that gave me some comfort was seeing Balwin at the piano. His familiar face and smile gave me
encouragement
.
"Wipe the doubt off their smug faces." he said.
I was given the microphone. Buzz-y took his seat. My table all gaped at me. the girls looking furious. Then the music started. I thought about Daddy and me in the living room and his happy smile and I began: soon, I wasn't in the Kit-Kat, I was back home. I was safe, and the song kept me safe.
When I finished, the audience was on its feet; even the girls at my table reluctantly stood to clap.