"Don't act like a nerd in front of the girls. Noble," he warned. "I know for a fact that you're not a nerd," he added. Then, to intimidate me, he nudged the poster behind which was hidden the hole to his sister's room.
He lit a match and held it out. I brought the joint to it, and as soon as I sucked in. I started to cough. They all laughed. Roberta decided to instruct me on the proper way to smoke the joint. I didn't like it. but I played along, and then I felt like I was getting dizzy.
The music got louder and everyone's laughter seemed to merge into one great laugh. Somehow it was then decided that Roberta and I would go downstairs and leave Elliot and Harmony alone upstairs.
She led me out of the room and practically pulled me to the stairway.
"I want you to tell me everything about yourself." she said. "You're the most interesting boy I know."
"You don't know me." I said, and she laughed. "I mean. I'd like to know. You're so... so..." "Literal?"
She grimaced.
"Yeah. I think so. I guess you are smart. C'mon," she urged and pulled me into the living room.
I stumbled, but followed her to the sofa. She flopped down, laughing at everything she did or that happened now. Then she reached up for me. "Come here. Don't be so shy," she said.
I looked back at the doorway, thinking perhaps I would just bolt, but she lunged forward, seized my hand, and pulled me down to her. I lost my balance and fell awkwardly over her, which made her laugh more. I squirmed to get loose, and she turned, pressed her breasts into my face, and then. before I could get back up and away, brought her lips to mine with such force, she pushed my head back. I felt her tongue jet in between my lips, and I gagged. I shoved her with all my strength. She clung to me, still laughing.
"Don't you like it?" she asked.
"No." I said. "And you shouldn't do that. I just told you I was sick. You'll catch it." I warned, hoping that would make her retreat, but her eyes were so glassy and small, and she continued to wear this silly smile on her lips.
"I'm not worried," she said and started to bring those thick, rubbery lips to mine again.
This time I ducked under her arm and managed to get off the sofa. She spun around, disappointed, and looked up at me.
"You are shy? This won't hurt. I promise," she said. "I know what hurts and what doesn't," I told her.
"Do you?" She widened her smile. "Then come on back. You won't be sorry," she said.
I watched as she fumbled with her blouse buttons and pulled the blouse apart. Then she sat forward and undid her bra. I should have just turned and run then and there, but the sight of her and what she was willing to do was mesmerizing. She slipped her bra off and then leaned back so her head was on the arm of the sofa. Her breasts poured forward. She smiled at me and put her hands under them, lifting them as an offering.
"Come back!" she urged. I shook my head.
"I can't,' I said. "I have to go. I have.., things I have to do. I can't," I stuttered and then turned and ran out of the living room, out the front door, and down the steps.
Her shout died behind me when the door closed. I didn't hesitate or look back. I charged across the lawn to the woods and then ran harder and faster as if I was being pursued. It had all put me in a panic. I didn't pay attention to the bushes and the saplings. Crashing through them. I felt my right cheek get scratched. but I didn't stop.
When I broke out of the forest and I was on our land. I slowed down, but I continued walking at a rapid pace, gazing back to be sure they hadn't followed me. I could feel myself crying now, feel my body shaking with sobs, but it was as if I was outside my body
, watching myself. The scratch on my cheek burned when the tears ran over and into it. Before I reached the house. Mommy stepped out and stood on the porch, her arms folded, her head high, her lips taut, the corners pulled in with white rage.
"Where were you?" she demanded.
I brushed some pieces of twig off my hair and wiped the tears from my cheeks. I was afraid to reply. She didn't wait. She stepped off the porch and stood before me, glaring at me. Then her eyelids fluttered and she looked confused for a moment. I tried to swallow, but it was as if I had a lump of hard candy in my throat. Slowly, she brought her face toward mine, and then I heard her sniffing.
She recoiled like someone who had smelled death.
"What were you smoking? Where were you? Answer me!" she shouted and seized my shoulders. She shook me hard. and I started to cry again. "Tell me!" she demanded. "Tell me everything and tell it to me right now!"
I blubbered between sobs, confessing everything, every detail, every moment. I dreaded what would happen next. Surely, she would lock me in my room again and again put me on a punishing fast, but when I was finished, she surprised me by smiling and then lovingly stroking my hair, my cheek, before she hugged me to her and rocked with me.
"My Noble, my wonderful Noble."
I looked up at her. I was still quite frightened, but I was confused as well.
"Don't you see, my child, you were honest. You were willing to expunge all the evil from you. You practically spit it out of yourself, You cleansed yourself. Your confessing is your purging. You have nothing more to do except to give thanks. Why do you think you ran home, you left that den of inequity? I am so proud of you," she said.