"No. Mommy."
"I don't want to talk about it anymore," she snapped. "Go see what he's doing and watch over him. Go on she ordered.
I couldn't help being angry at Noble for getting me into so much trouble. None of it seemed to bother him. It was truly as if he mixed his imaginary world, his pretend and his games, with our spiritual community. He didn't understand, but more important, he didn't care.
Maybe Mommy was right. Maybe he was in some grave danger, only, what could I do about that?
We didn't talk about it anymore that day. and Mommy didn't either. I think it was because she was so happy about our test results. Mr. Katzman commented that we had done better than most students who attended school. Mommy made a point of reading that aloud to us.
As to the magnifying glass. Noble refused to use it again, believing Daddy didn't want him to use it. I knew it. but Mommy didn't. I warned him not to tell her, and he at least listened to that. When Mr. Kotes asked about it. he simply told him we had found it, but he wouldn't talk about it or talk to Mr. Kotes much at all, if could help it. I could see that annoyed Mommy, but she seemed reluctant to complain or reprimand him for being sullen.
Mr. Kotes began to appear at our house more and more often, either for dinner or just to visit. Getting Noble to accept him was obviously important to him. He lavished more gifts, bought him an air rifle, and then spent time showing him how to use it correctly and safely. The agreement. which Noble hated,was that he wouldn't use it unless Mr. Kotes was there with him.
He bought Noble and me new fishing poles, too. but I knew it was mostly for Noble. With Mommy tagging along, he took us to the creek to fish and talked about how his grandfather used to take him fishing when he was about our age. Actually. I thought Mr. Kotes was a gentleman, a nice man who always seemed concerned about us. I couldn't harden myself against him as easily as Noble could. Mommy had to pull thank-yous and pleases out of Noble constantly.
Most of all I saw how comfortable and content Mommy was in Mr. Kotes's company. There were very few people whom she tolerated, much less liked. I told Noble that if she liked Mr. Kotes, we should, but that well of stubbornness inside him was still too deep to permit compromise. The only thing that did worry me was the fact that I had not seen Daddy's spirit again. However. I did remind myself that if Mr. Kotes's presence in our home and his keeping us company was the reason Daddy's spirit stayed away. Mommy would surely be the Est to know.
I didn't have the courage to put it exactly like that. but I did come to her one night and ask her why I hadn't seen Daddy's spirit for so long. She put down the book she was reading and looked at me quietly, calmly, her eyes blinking slowly. I could almost hear and feel the thoughts rising up in her.
"He's waiting for Noble," she said. "waiting for Noble to be able to cross over."
"But that's not fair to me. Mommy," I said.
Her eyes seemed to snap, and she turned sharply to me.
"How can you say such a thing? How could you think only of yourself? I have told you what danger there is for your brother."
"Well, what should I do?" I whined.
"Be patient," she replied. "Just be patient."
She returned to her book. and I left feeling more confused and full of trepidation than ever.
All during the time she was with Mr. Kotes and he was with us. I was keen to hear how Mommy would tell him about the spirits, about our family, about our powers. I listened in on one conversation when they discussed spiritual energy and the power of psychics. I was surprised at how much Mr. Kotes believed or said he believed. I could tell Mommy was very happy about that. What she was doing was gradually easing him into our world, revealing a little more each time, as if she knew what he could accept and what he couldn't.
I knew they laughed about how the people in the community talked about Mommy. I overheard that conversation, too. I wasn't exactly spying on them all the time. Well, maybe I was.
"I can tell you many people are surprised I'm seeing you as much as I am. Sarah," Mr. Kotes told her,
"I know your sister is one of them,' she said. "I hear how she feels whenever she calls here for you."
"Well, she's just overly worried about me all the time. that's all.
"Maybe you shouldn't come around so often. Taylor;" she said sharply to him.
"The day I let the busybodies in this community determine what I do and don't do will be one sad day for me," he replied. "And that includes my sister,"
She liked that.
She liked him more and more, and with every passing day of growing affection between them. I sensed Daddy's distance from us growing as well. Sometimes it felt like a light dwindling or a shadow retreating into the woods, shrinking until it was barely visible anymore.
Daddy's dying a second time. I thought. It was an idea that came bursting upon me, making me shudder. I dreamed of his coffin, the lid closing down firmly. His voice was muffled within, his cries diminishing. I saw myself desperately trying to pry it open until my fingers bled.
It woke me with a start. I might even have screamed. I didn't know for sure. Noble moaned in his sleep. Was he having the same nightmare? Was Mommy right about our sharing of thoughts and feelings, even when we slept?
I sat up in a sweat and caught my breath, Then I lowered myself back to the pillow, but I kept my eyes open for the longest time, falling asleep again only after I thought I had heard Daddy's voice softly say. "Don't worry. Soon it will all be all right."
I had no idea what "soon" meant. As for Mr. Kotes, he continued to come to see us often, and finally Mommy agreed to his taking us all out to dinner, as long as it wasn't a restaurant in the nearby community.