They were quiet for a long moment. They couldn't be just sitting there looking at each other.
They're kissing, I concluded. It was as if I could see through the walls. They had embraced. She put her lips close to his and they kissed.
I turned and as quietly as possible went back upstairs to my room. I closed the door and, with the lights off. went to my bed and lay there staring into the darkness.
In the room below. Mama and Ir, Fletcher were probably still embracing, kissing, perhaps doing much more by now. Such imaginings sent my mind reeling back through time. I was in the forest again. I was alone and I was free to be who I was. I had taken off my brother's clothes and unstrapped my breasts. The cool air was refreshing and my body tingled with such pleasure, I nearly came to tears.
Then I heard a branch crack.
It was more like a clap of thunder.
I opened my eyes slowly, and when I looked up. I saw Elliot standing there gazing down at me, his mouth twisted, his eyes wide. I felt every muscle in my body freeze. His lips moved, but for a few moments nothing came out, no words, no sounds. He looked to be having trouble swallowing. I was still, deathly still. Finally he spoke.
"You're a girl?" he asked, to confirm what his eyes were saying.
All of it, all that followed, returned with a vividness that made me moan aloud. I could feel him inside me, his hands all over me. I was helpless, trapped in the deception my mother had made me assume. She had put me in harm's way, I thought. It wasn't my fault. None of it was my fault. It would never be my fault,
"No," I heard Daddy whisper. "It's not your fault. princess."
I turned and I saw him standing there. He caressed my face. He leaned down and kissed my cheek.
"What she's doing is wrong," he said, nodding at the floor and what was happening below. "She's making a big mistake. Try to stop her. Try."
"She won't listen to me." I moaned.
"She will if you try," he insisted. "You must do it for all of us. Celeste, all of us." "I'll try," I promised.
He began to back up. "Try," he urged. "Try."
"Daddy!" I called, but he was absorbed into the wall and in a moment was gone. Was he there? Did I wish for him so hard that I imagined him there and heard him say the words I wanted to hear?
Below I heard the sound of the piano. Mama was playing again. It was soft and lovely, the sort of music that would beguile an unsuspecting soul. I drifted off, then woke to Mama's calling up to me.
"Come down and say goodnight to Dave. Noble." she told me when I rose and went out to the top of the stairway. "It's not polite to withdraw without saying good-night to our guest," she added with firmness.
I scrubbed my cheeks to wake myself and descended the stairs. Mama waited a moment to be sure I was coming, then she went back into the living room.
"Oh, she didn't have to disturb you, Noble," Mr. Fletcher said, standing when I entered.
"It's all right. Good night. Thanks for coming," I told him, unable not to sound mechanical. rehearsed.
Nevertheless, he smiled. "Maybe one of these days you and I can do some fishing. Doesn't have to be in the creek. I hear Masten Lake is pretty good for bass. What do you think? Do you know it?"
I looked at Mama and then nodded.
"Great. I'm going to have all of you over to my place soon. Of course, we'll arrange it so your mother does all the cooking." He laughed.
He started for the doorway and I stepped back. He paused and extended his hand. "Night. Noble."
"Good night" I said, shaking his hand.
"Man. those are callused palms. You're working him to the bone, Sarah."
Mama laughed and followed him out. She stepped onto the porch and closed the door behind her. I was just about to the top of the stairway when she returned.
"Noble," she called.
I looked back and she walked into the living room. What did she want? I started down again.