“After I met you,” he said. “She called me. I knew she was only trying to keep me from seeing you. She was jealous. So I disregarded anything she told me. That’s really why I was so upset with what happened at the motel.”
“And why you didn’t come to my graduation? It really had nothing to do with your father’s illness, then?”
“Partly,” he admitted. “Look. I love you. I just think you need some more therapy. It’s no big deal. Half the country is in therapy, and the other half needs it.”
“Who told you that—Lucille?”
He shook his head. “I don’t know why you’re on her case so much, Semantha. That’s probably another topic for your therapy, but the truth is, Lucille has been in your corner from the start. I wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for her.”
“What does that mean?”
“Nothing,” he said, and immediately took on the look of someone who had stepped into quicksand.
“No. You wouldn’t have said it if you didn’t think you had a reason to say it. Why did you say that?”
“Look,” he said, standing. “This discussion is just getting us deeper and deeper into a mud hole. Let’s just calm down and do what we can to restore things. We’re off to a wonderful new start.”
He started for the door.
“I’ll go back down and tell your father and Lucille that we had a good conversation and you’re seriously considering returning to therapy. You take a hot shower or something, get dressed, and we’ll have another one of our wonderful gourmet dinners and get everyone settled. What’s done is done, but it’s over with, and that should be that.”
“Wait!” I said, standing and walking to him. “If you were so worried about my mental health, about being with someone like me, why did you finally write to me?”
“I told you. I felt guilty about my behavior, about ignoring you . . . what difference does any of that make now? We fell in love, didn’t we? We have a wonderful future. Why dredge up the troubled past? That’s why everyone’s so upset with what you did today.”
I knew what Cassie was going to whisper, even before she did.
“It was Lucille, wasn’t it? Lucille contacted you and told you to write to me.”
“Stop this!” he pleaded. “If you really love your father, you’ll stop this.”
Then, before I could ask or say another thing, he turned and went out the door. I stood there looking at the closed door, my heart pounding like a fist on the inside of my chest. I gasped to catch my breath.
Cassie had arranged for me to have a baby.
Lucille had arranged for me to have a husband.
Nothing’s changed. And nothing will, until I change it. I turned to see her sitting on my bed.
“All of this began with you,” I said. “It’s your fault. You have to help me.”
She smiled with glee. “Why do you think I’ve come back?”
Cassie
DADDY AND ETHAN looked shaken at dinner, even somewhat frightened. Neither looked at me very much, and both tried to keep the conversation focused on business issues at the Heaven-stone Corporation. Lucille, however, was as cool and collected as ever. If anything, she was ingratiating toward me, complimenting me on my hair and my dress, which was, after all, one of the dresses she’d had me buy for my honeymoon. There was also a tone in her voice that made me feel as if she was handling me, keeping me from going stark raving mad. Every once in a while, she glanced at Daddy to see if he was appreciating how clever she was with me. He was obviously happy she was the one doing it and not he.
Ethan, on the other hand, looked as if he was holding his breath every time I spoke, especially when I spoke to Lucille. But I wasn’t going to do anything outlandish. Cassie’s advice was to behave as if nothing at all had occurred, so as not to give them an opportunity to dismiss me as emotionally unstable. If that happened, there would be no question that Daddy would ask Dr. Ryan to put me on medication and see me on a regular basis again.
After dinner, Daddy and Lucille went to the den to have their usual after-dinner drinks and perhaps watch some television. Ethan suggested that he and I take a walk, as if fresh air would clear our heads of the cobwebs of twisted thoughts and fears that had come out of nowhere like a common cold.
“We’ll join you later,” he told them. “Feeling better?” he asked me moments after we had stepped out.
“Yes.”
“Good. What do you say we go out tomorrow night for dinner? I was going to introduce you to one of our executives and his wife, but maybe we’ll leave that for another time and just have a quiet dinner together.”
“Yes, maybe I’ll meet them next time,” I said.