I think Ethan saw the disappointment in my face. He quickly added, “As long as it’s an all-girl college.”
Lucille had thought of everything for us when she and Daddy had planned our day. She had arranged for both of us to freshen up at the store’s executive bathrooms and had the head of the men’s clothing department arrange for Ethan to be dressed and fitted in something new. The same was done for me in the women’s department. It was as if Christmas had arrived early. Because I had never really taken advantage of being my father’s daughter at any of our stores, both Ethan and I felt like kids turned loose in a candy store. We rushed up and down the stairs to show each other what we might choose.
Afterward, when Daddy and Lucille met us and Lucille complimented our choices, Ethan said, “I never felt so guilty. I’ve never taken so much from anyone without somehow earning it.”
“Please consider it Mr. Heaven-stone’s and my graduation present for you, Ethan,” Lucille replied.
“Yes, but—”
“Please, don’t make a big thing of it,” she firmly insisted.
He said no more, but it really did seem to bother him, and I could see that earned him another brownie point with my father. It impressed Daddy enough for him to offer Ethan some of the advice his father had given him.
“Lucille’s right. It’s our pleasure—but you’re right, too, Ethan. Never let yourself get too indebted to anyone. Semantha’s grandfather always told me to make sure that whoever gave me a dollar got something worth a dollar from me. Obligations poison your well of independence.”
“Absolutely,” Ethan replied. “My father’s given me similar advice at times.”
“Wise man.”
“You two worry too much about the small stuff,” Lucille half joked.
Afterward, we went to the wonderful, elegant restaurant she had chosen for our dinner. Even I was impressed with how important everyone there made us all seem. I could see Ethan was truly overwhelmed, but he kept his poise, and when Daddy asked him for his opinions on what he had seen at the store, he had a lot to say, much of which seemed to impress Daddy and Lucille as much as it had Uncle Perry.
“It’s good to have fresh eyes every once in a while,” Lucille said. “People can get too confident in the status quo.”
“Absolutely,” Daddy said.
I thought that if it were raining and Lucille said the sun was shining, Daddy would agree. Was that the Cassie in me again?
But it had been a wonderful day and evening. Ethan and I were both flying high on the drive home. Daddy and Lucille announced that they were staying at his usual hotel suite in the city because they had some very important early meetings to attend. Plans were made for us all to have dinner the following night, with Lucille choosing the restaurant rather than us eating at home. Nothing had been said about how long Ethan was staying, but we all assumed he wouldn’t have come all this way for just three nights. When I asked him when he intended to leave, what day his return airplane ticket was for, he surprised me by telling me he had left it open. He gave me a shy look.
“I wasn’t sure how you would feel about me considering how we ended up in Albany. I thought you might be just being polite, but I was willing to take the chance.”
“I’m glad you did, Ethan.”
He smiled and sped up. Neither of us could wait to get home.
It was late, so I didn’t anticipate seeing either Mrs. Dobson or Doris waiting up for us, but when we started up the stairway, I thought I saw Mrs. Dobson peering around a corner. She really was like a grandmother to me, worrying that I was home safely. We paused at my bedroom door. He reached out to embrace me.
“Not here,” I said, and continued on to his guest bedroom. He didn’t need an explanation. Without a word, he opened the door for me, and I entered. His first kiss was cautious, careful, almost as careful a kiss as a man would give a woman who had a bruised lip. I pulled him back and kissed him so long and hard that it brought a smile of amusement to his face.
“I get the message,” he said, laughing, and kissed me again, this time running his lips down my neck and then lifting me to carry me to his bed. I lay there unmoving, watching him undress before he crawled in beside me and started to undress me as well. Neither of us spoke, me worried that I would somehow cause him to lose his passion and desire and him afraid, I’m sure, that he would say something that would stir up my painful memories again. Silence was our best ally right now, and we both knew it.
His kisses and his caresses, our embraces and unrestrained hunger for each other, said it all anyway. Neither of us seemed to think or care about any consequences. There was a rhythm and flow to our lovemaking that forebade the slightest interruption or hesitation. We were almost like two people in a panic, afraid that if we paused, we would be lost to some disaster. Instinct and raw passion seized us. All the while, I kept
chanting to myself that this was going to end any doubt, any fear I had about being incapable of loving and making love. I was not ruined after all. I had just as promising a future as any girl my age.
My moans and cries at the right moments gave him more confidence and satisfaction. At one point, he pressed his hands to the bed and lifted himself so he could look down at me and study everything in my face, the hot crimson in my cheeks, the excitement in my eyes, and the wetness on my lips. He dropped his gaze to my breasts and my stomach, and I saw the pleasure in his face. It was as if he were an artist, not a lover, and he had become Pygmalion, the mythological Greek sculptor who fell in love with his own statue. His slight intermission seemed to give him even more sexual energy. We went on until, exhausted and satisfied, we lay beside each other listening to the pounding of our hearts and our wonderful gasps.
“Stay with me tonight,” he whispered. “I want to fall asleep with you in my arms.”
I snuggled beside him and pressed my cheek to his chest. I could hear his heartbeat slowly normalizing and felt his lips on my forehead. Neither of us spoke. Sleep was like a warm blanket draped over us. When I woke, he was still there beside me, looking into my eyes. We kissed and made love again. Then I hurried out and to my room, at least to make it seem as if I had slept there. I was too embarrassed to face Mrs. Dobson at breakfast with her knowing that I had spent the evening in Ethan’s bed. I had no fear of her saying anything or even indicating to me that she knew, but it was enough that I would know she knew.
Ethan got his wish that morning, too. Before we went to breakfast, he insisted we take a dip in the pool. We hurried down and out in our bathing suits and really woke up in the water, splashing each other playfully and then just floating about with me in his arms and my lips just as passionate and demanding of his as his were of mine. Afterward, I had Mrs. Dobson serve us breakfast on the patio so we could remain in our bathing suits and robes. It was turning out to be a perfect day, with just a wisp of a cloud here and there and the breeze a warm caress. The air was perfumed with flowers and freshly cut grass. Ethan sat back and looked at it all with such pleasure in his face he made me see it as if for the first time, too. I told him so, and he smiled.
“Whenever you see something you’ve seen many times before but now with someone you care deeply for, or love, it does become fresh and new.”
“Love?” I asked softly. Dare we use that word so soon? I wondered.