I demanded before it was half open.
Mrs. Camden stood there, a wide look of astonishment on her face. She looked like she couldn’t speak for a moment. “Your music,” she managed first. “You can’t mean for it to be this loud.”
I turned and realized what she meant. Somehow, I had not heard it while I worked on my makeup.
“They can hear it downstairs. Your grandfather just shouted up for me to see what is happening.”
Without replying, I went to the stereo and lowered it considerably. “Happy?”
“What are you doing, Clara Sue?” she asked, stepping in.
“I’m putting on my makeup for dinner,” I said.
“Oh, no. Can I help?” she asked.
“I don’t need anyone’s help,” I said.
She stood there staring at me. “You’re not feeling well,” she said. “You’re getting yourself too upset.”
“Getting myself upset? That’s a laugh. Look, I’m busy.” I returned to the bathroom. I sat at the vanity mirror again and looked at my face. It was streaked now. Everything seemed to be running into everything else. I looked like a clown who had gone insane.
There was nothing to do but take a washcloth and begin scrubbing it all off. I turned when I sensed she was still there, standing in my bathroom doorway.
“My mother forbid me to wear any makeup, even lipstick,” she said. “I used to sneak it on at school and then wash it off before I went home. Do most of the girls at your school wear makeup?”
“No. There are rules against most anything but a little lipstick,” I said. “Most schools are built on a cement foundation. Mine is built on cement rules.”
She laughed. I looked at her, surprised. “You don’t really need much makeup,” she said. “Wait until you’re my age.”
“My mother used makeup.”
“Yes, but I’m sure not for everyday life, right? I bet she didn’t use that much when she went shopping.”
“Still, she used it when she went to parties and shows.”
“You’re going to a party this weekend, right?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Why not?”
I didn’t answer.
“You’ve got to stop punishing yourself, Clara Sue. It won’t change anything. If you change your mind and decide to go, I’ll go shopping with you for something to wear, and I’ll share whatever I know about doing makeup, too.”
I turned to look at her again. I could feel my eyelids narrowing, the flush coming up my neck. “You know that it won’t do you any good, don’t you?” I said.
“Pardon?”
“Trying to be my pal. It won’t change how I feel about him being here. Don’t waste your time.” I went back to scrubbing my face.
When I turned to the doorway again, she was gone. Half of me felt delight, but the other half felt regret. I sat there in confusion, not knowing whether I should start crying again or start laughing. Thankfully, the phone rang before I needed to decide. I expected it to be Lila, but it was Aaron.
“Just tell me what I did wrong,” he began. “I like to learn from my mistakes with girls.”
“You decided to date me.”
“Huh?”