“It wasn’t Brianna’s fault that I leaned out of the window too far,” I said quickly.
“You’re under Brianna’s wing right now. It’s always the fault of the person in charge.”
“Even accidents?”
“Even accidents. Everything is preventable if enough thought and preparation are committed. Don’t worry. She’s learned an important lesson. You did her a favor.”
“I did? What favor?”
“Never mind all that for now. Let’s get back to what you saw, Lorelei, okay?”
I nodded.
“Remember when I brought you out here with me in the spring and we watched a robin plucking worms and bringing them up to her nest?”
“You boosted me up, and I saw the baby birds.”
“Right. The mother was bringing them what they needed to live and grow.”
“I remember.”
“Well,” he said, keeping his hands tightly around mine. Mine were a little cold, but his were so warm that mine quickly felt better. “I’m not a baby, but I need what I need to live and grow brought to me periodically, too. Periodically,” he continued before I could ask, “means once every month in this case.” He smiled.
“Mrs. Fennel told me. Virile young men,” I said, and he laughed.
“She said that? Yes. I need what’s in their veins, only what’s in their veins. It has to do with hormones, too, but don’t concern yourself now with what it all is exactly. Just know that it has to happen once a month. You’ll learn that’s like a woman having her period once a month.”
I shook my head. Brianna had shown me what periods were when I wrote my first sentence.
Daddy laughed again. “I see I’m confusing you. Usually, my girls are much older by the time they make this discovery, learn all this, Lorelei. Maybe I should have had Mrs. Fennel continue explaining things to you.”
He saw the disappointment on my face. This was the nicest, most private talk we had ever had, and I didn’t want it to end. I certainly didn’t want to learn it from Mrs. Fennel.
“But I think it’s better we have this little talk after all,” he quickly added, and I nodded, happy again. “You know I will do everything I can for you, don’t you? You know how much I love you.”
“Yes, Daddy.”
“Good. You and your sisters love me, too, and you know your sisters would do anything they could to help me.”
I nodded.
“You will, too, won’t you, when your time comes to do it?”
“Yes, Daddy.”
“That’s what it means to have a family, why your family has to be the first and most important thing to you. We’re a family. We’re not like other families, I know, but that doesn’t mean they are better than we are. You will have more. You will be happier than any other girl you know, Lorelei. I will make sure of that. I’m so happy we have you as part of our family,” he added.
My eyes filled with tears of happiness. He kissed my cheek and lifted me to hold me in his lap. The afternoon was folding into night. Shadows began to grow around us, but I wasn’t afraid. Right then and there, I thought I would never be afraid. Daddy was too strong. Even the shadows seemed to stop before they could get too close to us.
We sat there without speaking until I saw the first star. My head was against his chest. I could hear his heart beating strongly. I tried to make my heart beat exactly in sync with his. I wanted to breathe when he breathed, eat and sleep when he did. If I could have his love forever, I would never be unhappy, I thought. I would bring him what he needed to live forever, too. I would never want to see him sad or weak.
And nothing was more terrifying to me than the thought of him dying. Who would watch over me? I’d probably be returned to some orphanage.
No, I vowed. I would be his best daughter. I would do anything he needed or wanted.
I thought that then, and I thought it still today.
The real question was, would I think so tomorrow?