"What do you have in your healing bag that can fix all this. Natani? Who knows where we're going to end up now?"
He closed his eyes and stopped his
drumbeating.
"Once. when I was a young boy, my mother took me by the hand and made me sit and watch a mother wren care for her newborn babies. She brought me back day after day and I watched how hard the mother worked to feed and care for the newborns. who never stopped demanding.
"They grew quickly. I was surprised at how quickly, and soon they became more adventurous and began to explore the world outside their nest. Everything frightened them though and they returned, hovering beside each other and waiting to be fed and protected.
"And soon they were too big to be in the nest, but they tried to stay. I saw that. I saw the mother drive them out of the nest. She refused to permit them to return. They looked very lost and afraid to me, but after a while, they flew off and my mother had me bring the empty nest down and keep it and think about it until I could answer for myself why the mother wren drove her own babies away.
"I had trouble with the answer for a long time And then my grandmother died, my mother's mother, and after she was gone, my mother came into our hogan and sat beside me. I was very, very sad. I was my grandmother's favorite.
"What has this taught you about the birds?' my mother asked me.
"I looked at her with great confusion at first. How could my grandmother's death teach me anything about a nest of baby birds and how their mother had cared so devotedly for them and then driven them away? My mother waited and waited. I soon realized I knew the answer, daughter of the tortoise. I knew it but I didn't want to know it."
"What is the answer, Natani?"
"The mother bird knew she was much older and there would be a time, not far off in the earth's life, when she would be no longer and her babies would die with her if they didn't go out and became strong and independent. To turn your own from your door is hard, but it is nature's way.
"I used to wonder if the mother bird ever saw her babies again, and if she saw them and they saw her, would they show it or were the babies so angry at her that they would no longer acknowledge her or care for her?"
"Did they?"
You never see a bird die, do you, daughter of the tortoise? They die in the dark. alone. You don't look up and suddenly see one topple to the earth. In the morning you might find them, but they have died in the dark.
"It was my father who told me that in the dark the babies gather and thank their mother as they hope their babies will thank them. Before the sun is up. they are gone.
"Hagoone is our word for good-bye, daughter of the tortoise. But there is no word for good-bye for children and parents. You cannot say good-bye to that which is part of you or of which you are a part. It is forever with you and with those who come after you. It is the greatest gift of all, this truth, this never saying good-bye.
"What you think is gone, what you think you will never see or hear again, is still with you. Go away with that in your heart. Nothing here has changed that truth nor could it.
"They died in the dark," he said, nodding toward the demolished hacienda. "I saw their spirits go with the smoke to join what has come before them."
He lowered his head and
I rose to leave, "Thank you, Natani, "Hagoone."
He looked up at me and smiled. "Remember the tortoise that stayed too long in his shell. Do not stay too long in yours."
'I won't,'" I promised. And I left him.
Afterward, the three of us rode away in silence, none of us looking back. All I took with me was the turquoise stone Natani had given me, a piece of the fallen sky Alex had brought us some clothes to wear. Of course. Teal complained about them, how cheap and ugly they were. but I could see how grateful she was for them.
We dozed on and off. The landscape flowed like a continuous stream of sand, rocks, and desert plants. I saw some rabbits, but we were moving too fast to really see anything else. Alex sat up front with the driver and frequently asked us how we were doing, if we were thirsty or needed the bathroom. Most of the time, we just shook our heads. No one seemed to want to break the silence. Maybe we were all afraid that if we talked too much, we would stop this escape, for that was what it surely was to each of us, a rescue, a flight from someone else's private hell.
Eventually, we were brought to a government building where we were taken to a room and, once again, asked a series of questions about the final events at Dr. Foreman's School for Girls. The two men in suits back at the barracks turned out to be special agents of the FBI, the reason for that, we learned, being that the ranch was leased by Dr. Foreman. She actually leased it from Natani's people so he had more reason than she had for staying and caring for it. Any crime committed on Indian land came under the jurisdiction of the FBI, as well as the Indian agency and their own tribal police.
Teal joked that it was an accomplishment to be interrogated by FBI agents. We had all been arrested at one time or another by city police, local law enforcement, and now we had graduated to the head of the juvenile criminal class. We laughed, but we didn't really think it was funny. We laughed because we were still nervous about what would happen next.
We were fed, given cold drinks, and left to rest in a lounge. Funnily enough, having not had television for so long, we were all bored by what was on and ignored it. Teal was the first to start looking at the magazines. Robin joined her and I soon followed. It was as if we were slowly emerging from a coma, which was what I had felt when I had first been brought to the orientation roam. It was all a sleep and an awakening, after all.
Finally. Alex returned and we all looked up with great anticipation.
"I'm not going to go through all the details concerning the various government agencies that have something to say about your futures, girls," she began. "You all know you were sent to this school as a result of a legal decision with guardian approval. The bottom line is you're all still on probation. I'm to make sure you all understand that. Do you?"
"Alex." Teal said with her cute little smirk on her lips. "we've been on probation since the day we were born."