"Yes," I said.
"When?"
"When she came to the house."
"I don't understand. You mean just now?"
"No, Jesse. Karen didn't tell you the truth. I've been hiding her in the attic all this time."
"What? You've been hiding her? But what about her trip to New York?"
"She never went to New York," I said, and described how she had prepared the tape recorder and I had made the call from a pay phone.
"But . . . why didn't she tell me the truth, tell me she was already there in our house for some time?"
"When I asked her that, she told me she was protecting me."
"OW" he said. "Yes, I suppose that makes sense." "Does it?"
"Sure. You're her best friend. Look at all you did for her. Why shouldn't she think of you, of protecting you?"
"There's more she didn't tell you, Jesse," I said. I couldn't hold back anything now.
"What more?"
"One day, she found your journal, and she read it. She wanted me to read it, but I wouldn't."
He was silent. I couldn't see his face well in the darkness, but I felt his confusion, his disappointment, even his embarrassment.
&n
bsp; "Well," he finally said, "I'm sure she was bored sick. I probably would have done the same thing. I never noticed it had been taken," he said, sitting back again. "It was childish to keep a journal like that."
"There's no reason to find fault with yourself because of what she did, Jesse. That's stupid."
"Yeah, I know. I'm not blaming myself. It'll be all right. Somehow we'll bring it to a good end," he said. He sounded as if he were talking to himself now.
We drove the rest of the way home in silence, each of us trapped within our own terrors and fears and perhaps more bonded as brother and sister than we had ever been.
Mama quickly accepted Jesse's excuse for not having bought anything. She still believed his principal purpose was to have a heart-to-heart talk with me. We didn't linger. We both went up to our Booms. I saw he was still a little shaky from hearing the truth.
"Don't go up there tonight, Jesse. Those stairs make so much noise under you. I was surprised Mama and Daddy didn't hear you the other night."
He looked surprised that I knew, and a little guilty as well.
"Right," he said.
We both glanced at the closed attic door before retiring for the night.
I was determined to be stronger the next day and do well in school, so I wouldn't attract any more attention to myself. Jesse volunteered to take me to school on his way to Daddy's office. I knew he wanted the opportunity for us to talk again.
"I've given it all a great deal more thought," he began. "If I can, I'll come by for you at the end of the day. I think the two of us should meet with Karen to tell her what we found out last night and what I find out from Dad."
"What if you don't find anything out from Daddy?" I asked.
"We'll worry about that later. Just be sure to wait for me before you say anything about last night."
"I'm going to tell her I told you everything," I said. "She should know."