"You're not going to be the passive little limp rag in any boy's hands, Zipporah. I won't be, and you won't be. Before he moves that hand of his off your shoulder to get to your breasts, you put your hand right here," she said, and put her hand on the inside of my right thigh. "You order, command, and direct his excitement as a lion tamer in a circus orders, commands, and directs the king of the jungle."
I started to shake my head. "I've never . . ."
"Oh, you can do it. It's easier than you think," she said. "You're not going to wimp out on me, on yourself, now, are you? Not after all I've done, all the preparation, the setup. It's my gift, my chance to pay you back for all this," she said, indicating the attic. "Look at how much you've helped me, how much you've risked for me. Don't let me down now."
"I'm not helping you in order to get you to do something for me, Karen."
"I know that, but you've got to do this. In a real sense, you'll be doing this for me almost as much as you're doing it for yourself," she insisted. "Remember when I said you had to have a love life for both of us right now? Let's get back to it. You won't be frightened. You won't let yourself be disappointed. You're more like me than you think. Am I right to believe in you? Well, am I?"
"Yes," I said. I didn't know if I really was like her or not in this respect, but I knew at the moment, I wanted to be. She sounded like a love coach, if there ever was such a thing.
"Good. He'll turn to you to try to take control again. Let him kiss you, but this time, when he touches your breasts, you push him back and say it's awkward in the front seat. He'll practically claw the seat to get into the rear. That's when you tell him to prepare so neither you nor he can get into trouble. See? You're ordering everything He won't even realize it right away, but you've turned him into your sex slave, and not vice versa."
She looked at the sofa.
"This is about the length and width of Dana's back- seat," she said. "Get up a minute."
I did, and she sprawled on her back and looked up at me.
"I'm Dana, practically with my tongue hanging out by now," she said, and stuck out her tongue. I started to laugh, but she shook her head. "No, no, let's stay serious. We'll have plenty of time later to laugh about it."
I was really laughing more out of nervousness than anything. "How come you think we'll laugh afterward? You think it will be funny?"
"You're so serious all the time, Zipporah. I have to work hard at getting you to enjoy yourself. Of course, it will be funny, too, but I want you to get more out of it than he does, and I want him to believe that."
"Why?"
"Because they always think they're so superior," she practically shouted at me. "It's just good to bring them down a peg or two. Now, you start to climb over the seat and stop and take off those panties."
"Take them off?"
"It will be quite difficult to do anything with them on, Zipporah. Hold them up. He'll be so excited he'll be begging you to hurry. Make sure he's done what he was supposed to. He uses the lubricated ones, which you need, this being your first time. He'll be impressed that you're making sure. He'll think you might even be more experienced than he is. He'll say something like, 'See for yourself.' You say, 'I will, and you'd better not be lying to me, or I'll leave you lying there to suffer.' Say that," she said.
I did feel as if she were writing this whole scenario right here and now, just as she had predicted she would.
"Reach down and check."
My heart was pounding with the thought of doing what she said.
"Then lower yourself slowly over him. We talked about orgasms before. You know what you're expecting to happen. Even if it hurts, don't let him know. You'll get past it. You'll see. When it's over, you'll recuperate faster. Climb over the seat, and tell him you have to get back quickly. He'll be moaning in the backseat. Tell him he's a wimp if he doesn't get moving. When he drops you off back at the post office, he'll beg for another date. Tell him you'll think about it. Make it seem as if he wasn't quite as good as you expected or hoped. Now, do you have any questions?"
"I don't know if I can do it all exactly as you described," I said.
She sat up. "Damn it, Zipporah, you can, and you will. Am I right? Well, am I?"
She looked furious. I nodded quickly. "Yes," I said. "Um, my father might wonder about this skirt."
"He knows your clothes that well?" she asked, grimacing.
"I've never worn it before. He might ask," I said. "I just want to be careful."
"So take it off for now, and put it on before you get to town," she said with some annoyance. "You can stop anywhere in the darkness and do it."
"I have other skirts."
"No, wear mine. Just like we were doing before," she said, "we're sharing everything. You should have this experience in my skirt. Promise me you will. Promise. Otherwise, it just won't mean the same to me, to us. Promise."
"Okay, okay, I promise," I said, even though I really didn't understand why it would matter so much.