"I told him that, but he insists this happened because he ignored too much."
"I'll go over there now." Mommy said.
Daddy nodded. "Ill drive you."
"I want to go too. Daddy," I said.
"Okay, honey."
"You don't need to drive me. Austin. Summer will push me in the wheelchair. It's more trouble to get in and out of the van," she decided.
I wheeled Mommy out. Daddy said he would join us in a while after he made some business calls. He had some things to do for Roy as well.
A long time ago. Uncle Roy had built a small ramp at the rear of his front porch just for the times Mommy would visit. She wasn't there all that often, but he built it anyway. I came to realize that he had built it hoping she would come to visit more.
I knocked and called through the screen door, Uncle Roy told me to come in, not expecting Mommy was with me. He was sitting by himself in the living room. When he saw her, he got up quickly.
"Oh Roy, I'm so, so sorry," Mommy told him. She reached up for him and he fell to his knees and buried his head in her lap as if he was a little boy. She stroked his hair. He didn't cry. He just held himself against her. She looked up at me.
"Why don't you put up some coffee and see about something to eat. honey?"
I nodded and moved quickly to the kitchen, glancing up the stairway toward Harley's room. The noise I made and the murmur of Mommy and Roy's voices caught his curiosity, and minutes later I turned to see him standing in the kitchen doorway.
"Mommy's here to visit," I said. "I've put up some coffee. How about something to eat? Toast and jam... cheese?"
"Whatever." Harley said. He dropped himself in a chair and stared at the table while I worked. As soon as the coffee was ready, I poured two cups. I knew Uncle Roy liked it black and Mommy liked a touch of milk.
"I'll just bring this to them," I told Harley. He looked up and nodded.
Halfway down the hallway, I heard Uncle Roy say. "I'm being punished, Rain. I'm being punished for still having so strong a feeling for you."
"Don't be foolish. Roy."
"God knows and God's punished me by taking my child and my wife," he insisted. "Its all my fault. All the tragedy and the misery is on my head."
"Stop it. That's stupid talk and you know it. I won't listen to it." Mommy said harshly.
"Mama knew. That was the real reason she was so eager to send you off to live here. She wanted you far away from me, and she thought if she got you firmly planted in this rich, white world. I'd have no place and no entry. She didn't anticipate all that happened and your bringing me here, but she knew and I knew she knew. I should have followed her secret wishes and forgotten you."
"Please, stop it. Roy. Please," Mommy pleaded.
"My fault," he muttered. "My fault."
I let out the hot breath I had been trapping in my lungs. Before I took a step forward, however. I turned and realized Harley was right behind me. He had been there the whole time, too, and had heard every word. His eyes fixed firmly on mine.
"Coffee's getting cold." he said.
I hurried ahead and brought them their coffee. Harley followed in slowly and Mommy took his hand and spoke to him softly, urging him to be strong,
"You want to keep thinking about your future. Harley, and work hard to do the things that would have made her proud."
He nodded and thanked her. I returned to the kitchen and prepared a tray of food. Afterward, everyone came into the dining room and ate something. Daddy arrived and he and Uncle Roy went off to discuss the funeral arrangements. Mommy insisted Harley come to our house for dinner. He said he would, but he didn't. When I called, he said he was just too tired and told me to thank Mommy.
The days before and around Aunt Glenda's funeral seemed to be days without hours and minutes, just a flow of time that made every moment seem exactly like the moment before and the moment after. It rained the day before the funeral, but cleared up that morning. All of the people who worked for Mommy and Grandmother Megan's company showed up at the church. The death had been ruled accidental, even though anyone who knew about Aunt Glenda knew it was the result of some form of madness.
Dressed in his suit and tie and standing beside Roy. Harley looked so much older. It was as if his mother's death had ripped him boldly out of his teenage years and dragged him kicking and screaming into the dark side of manhood. He didn't cry during the church service. He kept his face forward, his eyes fixed on his own thoughts, and he seemed to move in and out of consciousness as the congregation rose to sing a hymn and then sat and rose again. Finally. it ended.
Aunt Glenda. at Uncle Ray's insistence, was buried in the plot beside Latisha. She was finally back with the child she had lost. After the internment, we had food and drink prepared at our house. Harley was there, but very uncomfortable, just able to nod or mutter to all those who came to him to offer condolences. I sat beside him constantly and made him eat something.