“Yes,” I said without hesitation. “I know you thinks it’s crazy, but I love her, Sean. I look at her and I can’t even imagine a future without her in it. She makes me feel… fierce.”
“Fierce, like Beyoncé?” Sean asked. “I don’t get it.”
I shot him a glare. “No, you asshole. Fierce like fiercely protective and fiercely in love and fiercely passionate.” I gave a snort and stood up to get more booze. “Like Beyoncé. Go fuck yourself.”
“What? I don’t know. But okay, I get it now.” Sean joined me at the bar station. “These glasses are all dirty. You’re drinking out of a dirty glass. That’s disgusting.”
“No, I’m not that drunk. I got it out of the kitchen.”
He went into the kitchen and retrieved one for himself off of the open shelving. He also came back with a garbage bag.
“What’s that for?”
“All these napkins lying around. It’s nasty, I can’t stand it.” He poured himself a drink and snapped open the garbage bag.
I sat back down heavily and watched him collecting linen napkins from all over the room and tossing them in the bag.
“Leave that by the door,” I said. “The caterer is picking up all that shit on the twenty-sixth.”
“Sure. Okay, let’s start at the beginning. Did you get her pregnant on purpose?”
“No, what the fuck? I would never do something like that.” My own brother thought I was capable of knocking up someone on purpose? That was just messed up.
“I’m just checking. You were planning to hire a surrogate. I mean, you wanted a baby, bad. It might have been tempting to put the condom on after a little tip action.”
“You’re an asshole. No, I didn’t do that. I’m not seventeen. And never say ‘tip action’ in front of me again.” I ate another crab puff. “There’s a bunch of leftovers in the fridge if you’re hungry.”
“No offense, but that wasn’t the best catering.”
“Okay, Chef Dickhead. You try to book a caterer on ten days’ notice at the holidays.” They tasted fine to me but I was drunk.
“Did she harp on the condom thing or did she believe you after you told her you did not do that.”
“I don’t know if she believed me but she let it go.”
“I don’t think you should end your relationship because she had what is frankly a legitimate question considering the length of time you’ve known each other.”
“That is not technically why we broke up.”
“Then why did you break up?” Sean dumped the bag by the door and washed his hands vigorously in the kitchen sink. “That was fucking disgusting.”
“I’m not really exactly sure why we broke up,” I said. “Maybe because she’s taking my baby to England against my wishes. Or maybe because I never told her I love her. I’m not exactly sure at this point.”
“You’re fucking loaded.”
I nodded. “Yes, I am. I’ve been drinking since ten this morning.”
“I can tell. When is she going to England?”
“Tomorrow. She texted me her flight information earlier.”
“She’s flying on Christmas Day? Damn. She really wants away from you.”
I kicked his leg. Hard. “What did you do to Isla, by the way? You made a very negative impression on her.”
He gave a snort. “The feeling was mutual. She’s one of those man-haters. I couldn’t say anything without her getting offended.”
“Huh,” I said, because I didn’t really care. “I’m going to drunk text Felicia later and make