“The only signs I know are star signs. Besides, Micah gives Ev gifts all the time, and I don’t think he’s feeling guilty for leaving hickeys on her neck. I think… Hey!” She suddenly picks the laptop off my lap and stares at it. “Did you see that?”
“No, because you took my laptop away. See what, Kay?”
“Customers! You got customers!”
“What?” We wrestle for the laptop and I win. I settle it back in my lap and check out the emails.
Customers. She’s right. People who want to order my jewelry. And not just my friends from Chicago. Unknown people. People whose names I’ve never heard of before.
Whoa. Unbelievable.
The bracelets seem to be a success. The earrings, too.
Holy crap. I stare at the emails, Kayla squealing beside me like a piglet, and all I can see in my mind’s eye is the pendant I wanted to give Jesse.
Why not? No matter what, despite my anger and misery, I want him to be okay, and if that pendant helps him fight his demons…
Damn. If I make money from my jewelry, and maybe return to college and study art, then I’ll have achieved my goal. This is what I came here for, to make it work, make my dreams come true and to stand on my own two feet.
Talking of dreams… A hot flush travels up my neck. No, I won’t think of dreams of Jesse right now, or the half-formed dreams I had of being with him.
I’m here. The older me would have turned and run. Run back to Chicago and my parents, the new-found safety, the cocoon they built around me.
Don’t get me wrong. I honestly believe they saved my life by moving away. My thoughts were very dark back then, and I wouldn’t trust myself not to harm myself. There had been moments life had held no meaning. Wasn’t worth living.
But they pulled me out of it—took me far from the bullies, found me a good therapist, kept watch over me. Kept me sane, kept me alive.
And if falling for Jesse was like tumbling down the rapids with no life vest on, and if hitting the rocks hurt, that only means I’ve let go of the life line, and I’m paddling now on my own. Life can hurt. But unless you let go, you can’t really live it.
I won’t regret my time with Jesse.
God, thinking of him in the past tense hurts too much, so instead I click open the page of the University of Madison and check to see what I need to do for my transfer.
When I walk out of the building around midday to meet with Ev for lunch, I feel a prickling sensation on the back of my neck and turn around quickly.
A guy is heading my way. Crap, he looks like Nick, only bigger than I remember him.
This can’t be happening. It can’t be Nick. Can’t be.
Yet, without any conscious thinking on my part, I start to run. My purse flapping at my side, I race across the street, cars honking at me, and dive into a busy side street.
“Amber!” I hear a man’s voice yelling behind me, and I run faster. “Wait!”
Oh my God. Oh God. He even sounds like Nick. The voice from my nightmares.
I duck into a shop and hide behind the door, like a prop from a cheap movie, the lady behind the register opening her mouth to say something.
I put a finger to my lips and give her an imploring look.
She frowns at me.
A guy comes pou
nding down the street, then he slows down to a stop and looks around. “Amber.”
Good God, it is Nick. It’s really him, or else a clone. Yes, he is taller and broader than I remember—but the face is the same.
My stomach drops to my shoes. Ice trickles into my bones. I back away, into the store, hiding between the shelves, trying to control the shivers. I half expect him to stroll inside, shove me down on my ass and invite his friends to laugh at me.