I snuggle a bit closer, inhaling his scent of clean sweat and sexy boy. “You. Your family. Lin. You.” I stroke his chest through the thin fabric of his T-shirt. Today it just reads ‘Stay.’ “You, mostly.”
He laughs. “What about me?”
“I like your taste in T-shirts.”
“And I just like your taste.” His eyes darken. “What am I gonna do with you?”
I close my eyes. “Plenty of walls here.”
A growl leaves his throat. His head dips and his mouth brushes over mine. “Now you’re reading my mind.”
“Not that hard.”
“You sure about that?” He takes my hand, places it over the bulge between his legs.
My bad. He’s fully hard, the hot rod of his cock burning through the cotton of his sweats into my palm.
“But I don’t wanna fuck,” he whispers. “I want to make love to you.”
“Merc…” Unexpectedly my eyes fill up.
He lets go of my hand and draws back with a frown. “What is it? Tell me.”
I don’t even know how to say it. It seems stupid, after everything we’ve been through, but it seems impossible not to ask.
“I’ll be here for as long as you want me. If you…” I stop. “If you don’t…?”
I don’t know what I’m asking. If he doesn’t discard me? If he decides his feelings changed? Wouldn’t it be just like Cosima’s Law to have everything I want just to have it snatched away?
That will break me, shatter me, grind me to dust.
But he can read my mind, too, it seems, because he kisses me again and says, “I love you. Don’t you know? I’ve never said that to any girl before.”
I lose the battle, and two lone tears run down my face.
It’s a relief, and a reply. My heart is too full for words.
“Cos…” He hauls me into his arms, face serious and fierce. “Don’t you get it, my CosieCat? I’m yours, and that can’t ever change. I wanna marry you, and have kids with you, and kittens.”
I laugh through my tears. “You wanna have kittens?”
He grins. “And puppies. I wanna have it all, with you. If you want it, too.”
“I do, DreamBoy.”
God, I do. And if the way I throw my arms around him and kiss him as if I can breathe him in isn’t reply enough, then I’ll keep telling him yes until he knows I mean it for real.
Epilogue
Merc
I didn’t think I was ready for commitment and thoughts of a family. Don’t get me wrong, it’d always been in the back of my mind that some day I’d want my own family. A girl to settle down with, kids, a house like the one I grew up in. I simply didn’t think it would happen so soon.
But as I hold my girl and give her that promise, give her what I see in our future, I’m content. It’s as if my life was a puzzle before, the pieces scattered all over the board, some missing, and now they’ve all fallen into place.
The picture is complete.
A movie is playing, but all I can see and hear and feel is the woman in my arms. I’m pretty sure those are happy tears she’s crying, but I tighten my hold a little bit more, to show her I’m here, just like she does for me when I wake up from a nightmare, disoriented and grieving for something I can’t even pin down.