“It’s just that...” He hesitates. “I told you before, Audrey. He’s been in love with you for such a long time. And now he’s with you. Look at him. He looks relaxed. At ease. Happy.”
“He looks tired,” I say.
“He is tired. But he didn’t think twice about coming here to stay, and now he’s asleep on your couch.”
I don’t share with Zane my theories about the kick-ass painkillers, because I think he has a point. “Aren’t you glad for him that he’s comfortable and happy here with me?”
“Fuck yeah.” He pinches the bridge of his nose. “But you hardly know him anymore. What if you’re at each other’s throats within days?”
I shrug. “We’ll cross that bridge when we get there.”
“That’s it? Whatever, girl.” Zane grimaces.
“What is it, Zane?”
“You know how it is hoping for something for so long? For years? Reaching for it even if you know you can’t have it? Measuring everything and everyone around you against that perfect original and having everything and everyone fall short? And then one day, bam, you get the original, you get what you’d hoped for.”
“And what?” Apprehension fills me. “What are you saying? That now he has me, he’ll find me lacking? That I wasn’t what he’d hoped for?”
“No. Oh fuck, I’m so bad at explaining myself.” Zane sighs. “What I meant was, what if it doesn’t work out? What if you find he wasn’t what you thought? He has you on a pedestal, Audrey. If you left him now, you’d break the fucker’s heart.”
“Zane, shut up.”
He mouth falls open.
I almost laugh aloud at his expression. “I’ve loved Ash for so long I can hardly remember a time I didn’t. Yes, he hurt me when he avoided me at school, but now I know what was going on in his life at the time, and I understand. Since I moved here, he’s been nothing short of wonderful to me, and the more I know about him, the more I love him. So, here’s the thing: I can’t guarantee that this will work out. I can’t promise I won’t break Ash’s heart or he won’t break mine. But I can tell you this: he’s everything I’ve hoped for and more.”
Zane stares at me, his dark eyes wide. His pierced brow lifts. “Hell. All right then. I’ll shut up now.”
I smile and glance again at Ash. He always draws me, gaze and mind and body. A man-sized, gorgeous magnet. I’d love to draw him as he sleeps, to pencil in the shadow of his dark lashes against his cheekbones, the clear line of his jaw, his soft lips.
As I watch him, his eyes begin to move rapidly under his lids and his body tenses. Making my way to the couch, I say, “Want to stay and have coffee with us?”
“I think I’d rather leave you,” Zane mutters. “Unless you need help moving Ash to the bed.”
“I’ll manage,” I say, sitting next to Ash and stroking his hair.
“It’s New Year’s Eve. I guess I’ll have to wish you Happy New Year right now.”
New Year’s Eve. I didn’t even realize with everything going on. “Are you guys doing something tonight?”
“You kidding me?” He runs his hands over his face. “After what happened to Ash, I don’t feel like celebrating.”
“Maybe you should. It’s going to be a great year.”
As Ash relaxes under my hand and wraps his arm around my waist, murmuring my name, I believe it.
***
I wake up curled against Ash on the sofa. We never made it to bed after all, as he was out cold and I was too exhausted to even think about moving him. Ash is a tall, heavy guy and I don’t think I can lift him.
Right now he has his arms around me and is gazing at me, his beautiful arctic eyes hooded. “Morning,” he says, the rasp of his voice raising goose bumps all over my skin.
“Happy New Year,” I say and see those bright eyes widen a fraction.
“I think...” His arms around me tighten. “I missed a few days.”
I almost laugh at that. “Yeah, you did.”