I stride into her bedroom and grab my T-shirt, dragging over my head angrily. Who am I bullshitting? Just sex. It wasn’t. Not for me. I know it in every fiber of my being. It was amazing. Mind-blowing. Unforgettable.
Like she is, and the way I need her is scaring the holy fucking shit out of me. For so long I convinced myself I don’t need anybody. After I lost Helen, I had to, or I’d have gone round the bend.
Never needed anyone until now. Lying with her in my arms, holding her, kissing her, planning to go to a fucking wedding reception with her…
Dammit, even now my heart booms at the thought and a grin spreads over my face. She makes me feel… warm inside. Good. Whole.
Happy.
And damn, I like the fact she doesn’t want me to be with other girls. Like she wants me for herself.
I want to make her mine. But I’ve never been anyone’s and never had anyone. How does that work?
Zane. I’ll ask him.
My decision taken, I relax and sit on the bed to pull on my socks and boots, taking in her room from this angle. She has more of her jewelry lining her walls, bracelets and pendants made of beads and wire. A photo of herself with two older people catches my eye. Takes me a moment to realize they have to be her parents.
Duh, J. This is what’s normal, not you. You’re the odd one out, with no family.
Rubbing a hand over my face, wondering why Amber would even think of hooking up with me, let alone be my girlfriend, I take one last look around and head out to say goodbye.
Voices drift over from the open kitchen door and I stall. One is Amber, and the other must be Kayla.
“I can see why you like him,” Kayla is saying. “I get it. I mean, that face, that chest, and ass-cheeks you can crack nuts between—what’s there not to like?”
The fuck?
“That’s not why I like him,” Amber says so quietly I can barely make out the words.
Hell. I’m not sure whether to be glad or worried. Nervously I tug on my leather band, then reach up to rub the demon on my chest. She doesn’t like the way I look?
“Girl, you’re your own woman. You do what you like with Mr. ManCandy. But don’t come crying to me afterward, okay? Ev told you about him. He chases after everything with a vagina. Don’t let him hurt you.”
I wince, although I deserve that. Weird how I hate that Amber is hearing it. As if she didn’t know… Yeah, right, J.
Still, I step out of the bedroom, determined to stop this conversation. Not sure I want to hear what else Kayla has to say about me.
“It’s not what you think,” I hear Amber say before I take a second step. “We’re not together or anything. It was a one-night stand. It means nothing.”
My heart hammers in my chest. Bitterness rises in my throat. This is stupid, this crushing disappointment at her words. But I asked her for a chance, didn’t I? I thought I did. I thought she’d give me some time.
Guess I thought wrong.
***
“Sit down, fucker,” Zane says, pulling off his rubber gloves and nodding at Tyler, who’s waiting at the cubicle door. “Be back in a sec.”
I do as told, sitting on the stool. My head is pounding and I rub at my temples, trying to ease the discomfort. My pulse thunders in my ears, way too fast. Hasn’t slowed down since I left her apartment.
I thought if I slept with her I’d lose interest. Instead, she’s the one pushing me away. This hasn’t happene
d to me before. Everything’s different with this girl. I thought she wanted to be with me.
The thought of losing my chance with her burns a hole in my chest.
Maybe… maybe that’s why she asked me about being friends. Maybe that’s what she wants, unless it was a pretext to kick me out.
I hop off the stool, full of restless energy and pace back and forth.