Maybe he hit his head and is suffering from amnesia?
Nah. I’d have known, through my gossip network.
So he is ignoring me for real. And here I thought I’d had a breakthrough with the shower. I saw all those huge penises for nothing. Now I am scarred for life.
Ryan’s was bigger than the others’, though. And his body was so much more muscular and beautiful and…
Uh-oh. Trouble. The heat between my legs is maddening, as is the blush rising up my neck. How am I to keep my cool when my face is red and every step is torture?
I change and head to a machine with good view of Ryan. If nothing else, I can ogle him. Simone is sweating beside me on her treadmill.
“Any luck with him?” she asks.
I press my lips together and start my own treadmill.
“Maybe you should ease up on him a little.” She wipes sweat from her forehead. “As for me, I’m off men.”
“Off?” That catches my attention. “What, for good? Forever? You’ll become a nun?”
“I won’t be a nun.” She rolls her eyes. “I just don’t want men.”
I brighten. “You want girls?”
“No, Bry. I just don’t want anyone.”
“You’re asexual?”
She sighs. “Currently, yes.”
Oh.
“I?
??m not,” I inform her.
“I realized,” she says drily. “Though you’re not getting any, are you? Since you’re saving your cherry.”
The guy next to us suddenly seems interested. He leans in a little.
I push him back distractedly. He’s obscuring my view of Ryan.
“Hey,” I say, “what do you call it when you keep thinking of a man’s body and getting all hot and bothered?”
“Lust?”
“Yes, that. I have that with Ryan. But this can’t be!” I wave a hand in frustration toward the man in question. “I’m not in lust with Ryan. I’m keeping my wits about me and my rational mind in charge. It’s the only way to win this race.”
“Maybe you should stop looking at him like a goal and more like a person?” That from the guy next to me.
“Seriously?” I turn to him. “Like a person? He is a person.”
He blinks. “Yeah, but—”
“I can’t let physical attraction ruin my plan.”
“Bry, are you even listening to yourself?” Simone mutters and sighs. “What about love?”
Lots of sighing going on when I explain my ideas to my friends. They don’t get it.