I study him as he brings the bottle of beer he’s holding to his lips.
For someone who’s no longer a football player, he could still pass as one, which tells me he’s still hitting the gym. Well, old habits die hard. Besides, I’ve heard he’s teaching football to underprivileged kids around the world, which means he must still need to keep fit. He looks older than when I last saw him on TV, though. Then again, maybe that’s because his hair is longer and he’s got a beard, a real one. He looks like he’s got a new tattoo peeking out of the collar of his shirt, too – something like tentacles. And he’s got two earrings on his right ear – a black and gold stud and a silver hoop. His new girlfriend’s influence, probably?
“Yeah,” I finally answer. “I couldn’t miss Giselle’s wedding.”
He nods. “Who would have thought she’d be the first one of us to get married, right?”
I shrug. “Well, she was always the brave one.”
In other words, the reckless one.
“True,” Leander agrees.
He takes another sip from his bottle. I take a gulp from mine.
“So I’ve heard some stuff about you,” he says. “I’ve heard you’ve been waging a war with death.”
“That’s one way to look at it.”
“That’s a tough opponent you picked. Then again, you never liked things easy, did you?”
I don’t answer.
“Though it’s not the worst, I guess. Some things are worse than death.”
My gaze narrows at the remark, something I didn’t expect from someone who used to be constantly smiling and flirting with girls. Then again, I suppose this is what happens to men who have their careers and dreams stolen from them.
I feel sorry for him. Really, I do. But I know if I act like it, it will only make him feel worse. Besides, who knows? Maybe this Leander who has been knocked off his pedestal will make a better brother.
“Has Giselle talked to you?” I ask him.
“About?”
“Mom’s dress for tomorrow.”
He bursts out laughing.
“Okay. I guess I’ll take that as a yes.” I take another gulp of beer.
“Sorry,” Leander apologizes after he calms himself down. “When Gi told me about it, I thought she was exaggerating, but when I saw that… that thing…” He draws a deep breath. “I had to try so hard to stop myself from laughing I nearly peed my pants.”
“You could have just laughed,” I tell him. “Mom would have forgiven you.”
“I’m not so sure about that. I could barely talk her out of it. The only reason I was able to was because I promised her I wouldn’t bring Marissa to church if she wore something else.”
I arch an eyebrow. “Marissa?”
“The woman I brought home.”
I see. Not even girlfriend, huh?
“Mom doesn’t like her,” Leander adds.
I’m not surprised.
“Well, she’s still hoping you’ll find another Sharon.”
“Not me,” Leander says. “I know I’ll never find another Sharon, and that’s why I know I’ll never get married. In fact, I don’t think I’ll ever love again. I don’t even have the will to try.”
The unsolicited confession pulls the rug from beneath my feet. I know he loved Sharon. I know he was devastated when he lost her. But to go so far as to say he’ll never love again or get married? That he won’t even try?
“So Marissa…”
“I’m just using her for sex,” my brother says bluntly. “She’s the same.”
I see. No wonder they didn’t seem sweet. Just clingy.
“You think it’s bad, don’t you?” Leander asks.
“No,” I answer.
I have someone like that in DC, too. Renee. I call her whenever I… feel a need. She’s clean. She’s discreet. She knows her place. She’s good in bed. She’s a little expensive but convenient. Finding someone new each time is a hassle, especially for someone like me.
Of course, my arrangement with Renee – I wouldn’t call it a relationship – is on an on-demand basis. I don’t keep her around constantly. I never thought to bring her back home. But that’s just me. That doesn’t mean I disapprove of what’s going on between Leander and Marissa. Why is he even asking for my approval anyway?
“What I think doesn’t matter,” I tell him. “We each do what we can to deal with whatever we have to.”
If anything, I just feel sorry for Aster because I know she’s still secretly hoping for Leander to love her. And now, he never will.
He pats my arm. “Oh, Mason. You know, I’ve always admired that about you.”
“What?”
I never knew he admired me for anything.
“The fact that you don’t care what others think.”
“Really? I was under the impression that it’s not a very endearing quality.”
“Well, I think it’s great,” Leander tells me before taking another sip of beer. “You know, I know Mom always wanted you to be like me…”
Yup. That’s no secret.
“But I always wanted to be like you. You know what you want and you just go and get it. To hell with the consequences.”