Four Blondes

Winnie spots Tanner. She waves.

“We’re going to say hi and then we’re going home,” she says to James.

James says nothing. He’s waiting for a moment when he can escape.

“Jimmy my boy. Jimmy baby.” Tanner grabs James around the neck, swaying him from side to side. Then he pushes James away and puts his hands on either side of Winnie’s face. He pulls her toward him and kisses her on the lips. “I love you guys,” he says.

“Everybody loves us,” Winnie says.

“Yeah, but I especially love you,” Tanner says. “Did you have any trouble getting in? Those people at the door are such assholes. I keep telling the publicity people, but it doesn’t make any difference. Jimmy, where’s your drink? Somebody get this man a cocktail,” Tanner screams. He sits down and leans back. He pulls Winnie onto his lap. “Watch out, Jimmy boy,” he says. “I’m going to steal her from you one of these days.”

I wish you would, James thinks.

Winnie giggles, plucks the martini glass out of Tanner’s hand, and takes a large gulp. (Winnie is a different person in front of Tanner. She flirts. Disgustingly, James thinks. Does she think Tanner would ever be interested in her?)

“Whoa. Go easy, baby, easy,” Tanner says, taking his glass back and patting her on the butt. He slides his hand underneath the back of her coat. Winnie doesn’t object. (She hates Tanner until she sees him. And then she can’t help herself. She loves him.)

“How are you?” Winnie asks. “I mean, really?”

“I’ll be right back,” James says.

“Hold on, bro,” Tanner says. He passes James a vial of cocaine. Turns back to Winnie. “So where’s my future wife?” he asks.

James is elated. He feels like a naughty schoolboy who has just run off with the teacher’s chalk. (He did run off once with the teacher’s chalk, when he was very young. It felt good for three minutes, until he got caught. Then he was sent home from school. It was embarrassing. It was unfair. It was only a tiny piece of chalk.) James runs into Clay Ryan in the bathroom. “Christ,” Clay says. “I’m trying to get away from my wife.”

“So am I,” James says. He hands Clay the vial of cocaine. Clay sticks in the tip of a key and holds it up to his nose. “So what about Winnie’s sister, Evie?” he asks.

“She’s hot,” James says.

* * *

Evie wants to fuck Tanner and she’s excited about it.

She’s met Tanner three times before, and every time, he made a point of putting his hands on her. It’s his way of saying that if she wanted to fuck him, he would.

She tells herself that nothing will come of it (she tells herself that something might come of it, that she might, through some fluke of nature, be “the one”), but she doesn’t care. She just wants to fuck him once. To see what it would be like. (She wants to fuck a movie star. She’d like to fuck lots of movie stars. Who wouldn’t?)

Evie runs into James and Clay outside the bathroom.

They look like they’ve been up to something. James is wiping his nose. (He is so uncool, Evie thinks. Pathetic, really. How can Winnie sleep with him? He has no hair.)

“Have you seen Winnie?” she asks.

James and Clay take Evie into the bathroom. “I never do this,” James says.

Evie says, “Oh James, shut up.”

“Don’t tell Winnie,” James says.

“I’m going to tell Winnie,” Clay says. “I’m going to tell the whole fucking world. Including my wife. Fuck her.”

They run into Tanner outside the bathroom. Tanner, Clay, and Evie go into the bathroom. James goes to the bar to get a drink. In the stall, Tanner presses up against Evie. Like Clay isn’t even there. Evie thinks she might swoon. Tanner is better in person than he is on the screen.

“How come you weren’t at the wedding?” he asks.

“Which one?” Evie says.

“James and Winnie.”