Four Blondes

“Rehab,” Evie says.

Veronica and Winnie are sitting at a table. “I’d just like some appreciation sometimes,” Veronica says. “When I met Clay, he was living in an apartment with no bathroom.”

“James is either working or on the Internet or watching TV,” Winnie says. Why does she always get stuck with Veronica?

“I mean, could he listen? To me? His latest thing is bad investments.”

“They have time for everything except you,” Winnie says. “Well, now I don’t have time for him.”

“And does he even notice? And now they’re all on coke,” Veronica says. “Look at them all jabbering away like monkeys. It’s disgusting.”

James and Evie and Clay sit down with Veronica and Winnie.

“James is doing a piece on chimpanzees,” Evie says.

“Oh James, don’t talk about it. It’s so dull,” Winnie says.

“I just found out that the government is illegally importing chimpanzees for secret medical research. They’re stashing them in a warehouse in lower Manhattan,” James says.

“Why would anybody bring monkeys into Manhattan,” Winnie says.

“Did you know that in some chimp tribes, the females are lesbians? And they let the male chimps watch?” Clay asks, leaning over to Evie.

“Clay, we’re going,” Veronica says.

“Hold on,” Clay says. “I haven’t finished my drink.”

“Who wants another drink?” James says.

“That’s enough,” Winnie says.

“Tanner’s ordering another drink,” James says.

“Tanner’s leaving,” Veronica says. And, in fact, Tanner is leaving, moving toward the elevator, kissing and squeezing people along the way.

“We’ll give you a ride uptown, Evie,” Winnie says, standing up.

“That’s okay. I don’t have to be up in the morning,” Evie says. She has one eye on Tanner. She can’t let him get away. “I’ll be back,” she says.

“Sure,” Clay says.

Veronica gives him a dirty look.

Evie hurries after Tanner. Winnie and James and Veronica and Clay are so boring. Why is Winnie always trying to control her? Doesn’t she understand that Evie and Tanner are one kind of person and Winnie and James are another? (They are partiers. Fun people.) She manages to squeeze herself into the elevator with Tanner just before the doors shut.

“Good girl,” Tanner says. He looks at Evie appraisingly and thinks, She’ll do. (He’s had hundreds of girls like Evie. Sexy and available. Too available. After a certain age they can’t find husbands. Or even boyfriends. He’d rather fuck Winnie. At least she isn’t available.) “Just promise me one thing,” Tanner whispers. “Don’t give me any of that marriage shit.” He starts singing, “It ain’t me, babe. It ain’t me you’re looking for. Babe.”

“Don’t be so sure.” Evie giggles.

The elevator doors open on the ground floor. Tanner grabs Evie’s hand. They hurry out to the street. The limo driver is holding open the door. There’s a crowd, held back by police barricades. “Maestro!” Tanner screams.

He pulls Evie into the limo.

Clay and Veronica and Winnie and James are standing on the street corner. Trying to get a cab. (Or trying not to get a cab, James thinks.)

“If you want to kill yourself, go right ahead,” Veronica says to Clay. “I really don’t give a flying fuck anymore.”

“What are you talking about?” Clay asks.