What She Didn't Know (What She 1) - Page 67
And together, they made up Lynn.
They made up the woman I loved.
And I loved them all.
As much as I loved them, though, I wanted Lynn back. Something was desperately wrong, and I didn’t know what it could be.
I kept reading. I read for four hours before my phone finally rang.
“Hello?” I said.
“I found the apartment.”
I jumped to my feet. “Really?”
“Yes. The lights are out now. I think they’re asleep.”
I wished I knew if Lynn was there. I needed to see her face. I needed to hold her in my arms. I needed for her to tell me that everything was all right.
My mental health had never been in question, not until I met Lynn. Then my friends, the few who knew the situation, like Malcolm and Aubrey, began to question the relationships I had with Lynn and all her friends and the damage it could do to me.
I never really felt damaged until Lynn was gone.
That was when the darkness crept in.
That was when I doubted my own mental health.
They all thought that Lynn’s crazy would break me. But I was pretty sure that mine would break me first.
The private investigator gave me the address for Shelly’s apartment, and I wrote it down. It wasn’t far from here. At least Lynn had been close all this time.
Tomorrow, I would go and get my wife back. I wouldn’t take no for an answer.
36
Dear Diary,
Mason had sex with Ash today. Not gonna lie…it surprised me a little that it happened when it did. They’d been flirting for a while, every time I was gone and Ash was here. The last time I was gone, she kissed him. I could feel it deep inside me when it happened, and my heart grew soft and mushy at the idea of it. He kissed her back, and I could feel everything she felt. I could feel the way he loved her, and I could feel how much he wanted her.
They didn’t have the same experience that Mason and I have when we’re together. They had a Mason-and-Ash experience. He loved her differently than he loved me. She is different, so that should have happened the way it did. That part made me happy. What didn’t make me happy was the guilt he felt afterward.
I knew the moment I came home that something was wrong with Mason. He wouldn’t meet my eyes. He held me tighter than he’d ever held me before.
I didn’t tell him that I knew. I probably should have. Instead, I let him wrestle with the guilt. That might be where I went wrong in all this. I could have eased his heart a little.
Mason began to change. He went from being the sweet man who loved me to being the sweet man who loved several women. He would always be mine, but little parts of himself…he gave those to my friends. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel bad about all that I put Mason through. When I met him, he was a happy-go-lucky young man. Now, he’s a man who has to deal with so much. He’s a man who keeps secrets.
Only they’re not secrets. I know about all of it. Well, except for what happened with Shelly, and no one will tell me about that.
37
Shelly was my nemesis. Where Lynn was goodness and light, Shelly was evil and darkness. There was a place i
n Shelly’s soul that had been broken from birth. The crack in her soul had scarred over, and the scars kept the light out. Or so I thought.
I was at the hospital one day, helping my mother lead a group for victims of assault, when Shelly waltzed in the door. I’d met her before, but I’d never been alone with her. Honestly, she scared the hell out of me. In my estimation, Shelly didn’t have a conscience. She did whatever suited her at the time, and she didn’t care what anyone else thought. She didn’t care who she hurt, as long as the end justified the means.
But that day, when she came into the group, my mother thought that she was Lynn. How she thought that, I didn’t understand. But she did. She let Shelly waltz right in and sit down in Lynn’s seat. Shelly took a seat in the circle, and she crossed her legs. She was wearing high heels, but her signature pearls and pink sweater were gone. She was pretending, and she was damn good at it. Or at least she would be if I didn’t know Lynn so well.
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