time to work it out in the morning. A call from Jon’s builder took him off to his house to decide on what should be done about a leak in the roof that had become apparent after heavy rain a few days ago, and he didn’t return until after lunch. By that time, she and Hannah were getting ready to go to the supermarket and restock the fridge.
‘I’ll go.’ Hannah took her car keys out of her hand.
‘No, it’s okay...’ Making a big thing of this was only going to make things worse. Chloe had spent the whole morning wondering what Jon was going to do next, and she needed to calm down.
‘I’ll be back this time. Promise.’ Hannah kissed her on the cheek and grinned at Jon, then picked up the shopping bags, slamming the front door behind her.
‘How’s your roof?’
He shrugged. ‘Not great. I spent all morning up in the loft, plugging holes. I think I’ll have to get the roofers in to renew the back elevation.’
‘You look very clean. Your loft obviously isn’t as dusty as mine.’
‘After the builder went, I tried out the new shower.’
It seemed like one more hole in a structure that was already rapidly disintegrating. Jon was showering at his place now. Chloe told herself not to be stupid. Of course he wanted to use his new bathroom.
‘How was it?’
‘Good. Great, actually.’
The time was now. Hannah would be gone for at least an hour and they could talk. Work out what happened next. The thought occurred to her that if neither of them cared, they could have avoided this, just letting things slide and walking away. On the other hand, if they both cared enough, that would have been obvious too, and they would have known what to do next without having to talk about it.
‘Let’s go and sit down.’ He walked into the sitting room and Chloe followed him, sitting down in the chair opposite his.
‘Jon, I...’ Now that the time had come, she didn’t know what she wanted to say.
‘Chloe, there’s nothing that we have to do. Nothing we can’t do.’ He’d obviously been thinking about this a little more cogently than she had. ‘But you have big changes ahead of you and so do I, for that matter.’
‘Does that really matter? Life never just stops.’
‘No, but we’ll both be busy. Maybe we should take a break and think about things. We don’t need to make any decisions or promises, just wait a bit until everything settles.’
A glimmer of what was really going on in Jon’s head. Just a few days ago it had seemed that they could both read each other’s minds effortlessly, but now it was a guessing game. But she knew that he’d been burned like this before, he and his wife drifting apart because of schedules that never included enough time for each other.
Suddenly, it was all very clear. The last few weeks had left them with no option. They’d been so close, not just physically but emotionally as well. They’d supported each other, worked as a team. Loved each other. There had been no need for promises, the commitment had been made.
‘Jon, I think I need to tell you where I stand. We’re either in a relationship or we aren’t. I want to be in a relationship with you, but if that’s not possible then I think we should just call it a day. I don’t want an on-off affair.’
He stared at her. ‘We said—’
‘I don’t care what we said. That’s what I want. I love you and I think we could make a go of it. But I need you to tell me that you love me too, and that you’ll be there for me.’
‘I do love you, Chloe, but...’ He got to his feet and started to pace. ‘I won’t just jump in blindly when neither of us is going to have the time or the energy to really make this work. We need to think about it.’
‘I don’t. I can’t, Jon. I’ve been let down too many times.’
He turned suddenly, his face dark. ‘Did I ever let you down?’
‘No, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m just telling you how I feel.’
‘And what about how I feel. Don’t I get a say in this?’
‘Yes, of course you do. You stay or you go.’ Chloe felt tears pricking at the sides of her eyes and blinked them back. All the anger and frustration that was battering them seemed to have come out of nowhere.
‘All or nothing, you mean. That’s crazy, Chloe, we’ve known each other three weeks.’
‘No, I mean something or nothing. I don’t want you to just turn up whenever you feel like a one-night stand and can’t be bothered to flip through your address book.’ Chloe bit her tongue. She hadn’t meant that...