‘You’re working back at the site?’ It was an obvious question with an obvious answer, but it would prolong this time together a little before he gave her a reason to get up and go.
‘Yes. I was supposed to come back a month ago, but...’ Her lip quivered slightly. ‘I was very busy at home. I’ve been working with them via video calls, but for some things you just have to be there. I’m back for a week.’
‘William’s with you?’ Perhaps he shouldn’t ask, but he’d missed William too.
‘No, he’s staying with my parents. I’m working long hours, and I thought it would be too disruptive...’ She tailed off, and Matteo supplied the awkward truth.
‘You don’t want him to come back here, start making friends again and then have to go back to England.’
‘Yes. He was very happy here and he’s just settled back home again. But if you’d like to call in the next time you’re in England, he’d be very pleased to see you.’
‘Thank you. I’d love to see him.’
They were both speaking in code, but Matteo knew exactly what she meant. She’d done what any mother would do, and had decided what would be best for her child, but she wasn’t going to bar Matteo from seeing him. That small sliver of hope pierced his heart, giving him courage to venture a little further.
He took a breath, the words on the tip of his tongue, and then the waiter brought the coffee. She looked up at the man, smiling and thanking him in Italian. Rose was so beautiful when she smiled, and even if the smile wasn’t for him, Matteo hung on to the moment greedily.
But it seemed that Rose wanted to waste no time in getting to the point. ‘This is what you flew all the way back here for?’ She indicated his cup.
‘English coffee’s pretty awful.’ He tried to make a joke of it and failed. ‘But it’s a long way to come, even so.’
‘Why did you, then?’ Her gaze searched his face, and it occurred to Matteo that she was just as terrified as he was.
‘Rose, I have a plan.’
Her chest rose and fell quickly, and she took a sip of her coffee. ‘A plan? Are you sure you’re all right?’
He reached out, taking her hand in his, squeezing it gently. ‘I don’t mean to hurt you, Rose. If you don’t want me, just say so, and I’ll go.’
She shook her head. ‘There was never a time that I didn’t want you, Matteo.’
Spending a large proportion of his day and paying over the odds for a ticket to get himself back where he had started suddenly didn’t seem so crazy. ‘I want you to know that whatever you want is important to me. Because what I want, more than anything else, is for you and William to be happy.’
Warmth bloomed suddenly in her face. ‘Please...say it, Matteo. What’s the plan?’
‘I reckon that any plan has to start with where you want to finish up. Then you decide how you’re going to make that happen. I want to finish up with you. For us to be together.’
‘But...’ She shook her head. ‘We tried that. There are so many reasons...’
He laid his finger across her lips. ‘No, we didn’t try it. We made a plan that was based on everything we knew about the past. My plan is all about the future, and what it should be. What I want more than anything.’
She took a sudden, involuntary gasp of air, as if someone had just inserted a knife between her ribs. ‘And you’re not afraid?’
The realisation that she was thinking about saying yes made his heart beat even faster than it was already. ‘Actually, I’m terrified. But that’s okay, because I love you and I really do believe we can make this work. We can take things slowly...but I’ll be there whenever you’re ready.’
She reached out her hand, brushing the side of his jaw with her fingers. ‘I’m ready now. And if ever you’re afraid, I’ll be there for you.’
That was an offer good enough to summon up every demon in his subconscious and invite it to do its worst with him. ‘I’m afraid now.’
She took both his hands in hers. ‘Don’t be. I love you too, Matteo.’
The temptation to take her in his arms, right now, was almost too much. Matteo reminded himself that he’d just promised her he’d go slowly.
He smiled at her, wondering if a smile would ever be enough to show her how much he loved her. ‘I’m feeling better already.’
‘Shame. I was hoping for a rather more extended period of nursing.’ She laughed, and then was suddenly solemn, as if she’d remembered something. ‘I...won’t mess up this time, Matteo.’
‘That’s a shame too. I was hoping we’d both mess up big time...argue about it and then make up.’ He raised her fingers to his lips and kissed them.