‘Blade, you might not have much respect for me now, if any at all, but believe it or not I didn’t find it easy to end our marriage,’ she said with painful carefulness. ‘Obviously it’s affected me, it’s only to be expected.’
‘And that’s it?’ He leant forward suddenly, trapping her small face between his hands as he forced her head upwards to meet the fiery blackness of his gaze. ‘That’s all you’ve got to say to me after what you’ve done? “I didn’t find it easy to end our marriage, obviously it’s affected me”.’ He parroted her words with a furious bitter anger that sliced into her heart.
‘Leave me alone!’ She tried to jerk away but this time he was prepared and the large hands tightened like iron round her face.
‘No way, sweetheart.’ Suddenly his American accent was very pronounced. ‘Like it or not, you are still Mrs Forbes for the moment and I’m damned if I’m going to sit back and do some sort of parody of the stiff upper lip. What do you think I am—?’
He stopped abruptly as the tears she couldn’t hide any more spilled from her eyes to run a salty trail on to his fingers. ‘Amy!’ He swore softly after the one hard explosion of her name and then she found herself lifted up into his arms as he moved to her side, his mouth hard and hot on hers as he strained her to him in an agony of need he couldn’t hide. ‘What’s got into you, girl, what in hell’s name has got into you?’ His words were a soft groan as his lips left hers and then she was cradled against his broad chest, the sunlight and everything else fading into a blinding haze as she sobbed and sobbed and sobbed.
This was the last thing she had wanted to happen, the very last. Now he’d know she was weak, vulnerable, that there was some mystery. She had to be strong, had to convince him she knew what she was doing! But it was useless. She had longed, with a burning devouring ache night after night, to be held by him like this. She was deathly afraid of the future, horribly lonely, but the knowledge that he had ceased to care, that he believed she had left him because she no longer loved him, was worse than all the future might hold. She wanted him to care, wanted him to share this thing with her, just to be there … Sanity returned in a rush of shame. How could she think like this? If she really loved him how could she drag him with her into the pit? None of this was his fault. She had to see it through alone.
‘I’m all right now.’ She moved out of his arms quickly, sitting down in her seat again as she reached for her handbag and dabbed at her face with a somewhat dog-eared tissue. The effort to control her tears was causing her lower lip to tremble and she bit on it painfully as the coal-black eyes fastened on her face.
‘You are far from all right,’ he said slowly, ‘and I’m fast getting to the point where the temptation to drive somewhere and make love to you until you’re pleading and begging me to take you is becoming irresistible.’
The change in conversation threw her and she stared at him vacantly as he took his seat again, draining the last of the cider with a swift swallow. ‘What did you say?’ she asked faintly as she wondered, for a split-second, if her mind had played tricks on her. ‘John—’
‘John can go to blazes as far as I’m concerned,’ he drawled imperturbably, the poker face he was so good at in business impenetrable and cold. She didn’t know why she had mentioned John’s name at that precise moment—as a talisman, a protection against the sheer force of sexual energy that was reaching out to her from his big body, she suspected. She found she was shaking slightly, her blood running through her veins at fever pitch.
‘I haven’t yet worked all this out,’ he continued slowly, his eyes never leaving her face for a minute, ‘but if you and lover-boy are the epitome of love’s young dream, then heaven help the rest of us.’ His voice was cool and very remote as though he were exercising an iron control on his emotions. ‘So if, as you both claim, you aren’t sleeping with him yet, why did you leave me for him? Do you feel sorry for him, Amy? Is that it? If so, that emotion isn’t going to keep you warm in bed when you finally take the plunge, is it? He just isn’t your type, face it.’
‘Stop it!’ She glanced at him angrily. ‘Stop talking like this.’
‘Why?’ He moved closer now, the control slipping as his voice became a snarl. ‘Or have I got it wrong, or right as the case may be? Perhaps you are his lover already? Is that it? Does he satisfy you, Amy? Give you what you need—’