My brother’s innocence had been shredded because I’d come into existence. It wasn’t my fault, but still… Knowing my blade was hidden securely in my purse would have helped.
But it was gone now.
My friend was gone.
“Marj?”
I jerked. “Yeah?”
“You okay? You seemed lost in space for a minute.”
I smiled weakly. “I’m okay.”
“You sure? You’ve been through—”
“I’ve been through nothing,” I stormed. “Nothing compared to what Talon and Colin have been through.”
“Marj, I—”
“I’m sorry, okay? Yeah, I was drugged and taken against my will. But no one hit me. No one raped me. No one starved me. It was nothing, Jade. Fucking nothing.”
“It wasn’t nothing.”
Anger seethed through me. “Excuse me, but you weren’t there. I was. It was nothing compared to what happened to my brother, to Dale and Donny, to Juliet and Lisa, to Ruby even. To all of them. It was nothing.”
Jade regarded me, her lips trembling slightly.
I’m sorry.
The words were lodged in my throat.
She hadn’t deserved to be the target of my outburst, but damn it, I’d been through nothing.
Where was my fucking friend?
Just knowing my blade was waiting for me in my purse would help this angst.
But it wasn’t there.
It wasn’t there.
I walked to the kitchen quickly and opened the refrigerator. The cold air chilled my skin.
Jade didn’t follow me. Why would she? I still lived here. I did a lot of cooking. Opening the refrigerator wouldn’t be an odd thing for me to do.
She didn’t know why I was doing it, though.
I breathed in the coldness, let it flow through me, begging it to take away my troubles.
Because in truth, I didn’t have any troubles. I’d been taken against my will, and yes, I’d been frightened.
But ultimately, I hadn’t been harmed.
Not like all those other innocent souls.
I inhaled, exhaled, inhaled, exhaled…
But still the need pulsed within me. The scar on my upper thigh burned and itched.