“Okay, but I am not having sex with you if that is what you’re after. I want you to help me, but I don’t need you. I can hire someone else.”
Bingo. I knew it. The word need was where she got tripped up. The key was to make her want, not need.
“Not that I don’t want to make love to you, Lena, because I do, but no, that was not one of the points I wanted to discuss. I would like to revise a few other lines. I believe hand holding and facial kissing should be practiced so it flows naturally. If the first time I kiss you on the cheek is as I pull out your chair for dinner with your father, he will know something isn’t right.”
Rue watched the wheels turning. Lena’s face was so expressive. He imagined how it would be in moments of passion.
“I mean, the page on your father was very telling. He’s a smart man if your words are to be believed, and it sounds as if he knows you like the back of his own hand.”
5
Lena
“That’s true. I agree, we can prepare for that aspect, it needs to look real.” Silently she added, Just please don’t make it too real. She was attracted to Rue. More so than she had been to any other man. There were moments where she imagined she was her pre-accident normal self. Rose knocked her over and started their epic love story. Just like in a romance novel. Silly, she knew but couldn’t resist.
She could see the book cover clearly. Fancy yellow title font, the color of the sun’s golden rays would proclaim: Love is Partially Blind. All large title size except partially. Partially would be canted and muted in a different type, set behind Love is Blind. A dog on the sidewalk with crushed roses and the shadow of a couple embracing in the background against a store-front would make the title pop.
Lena wasn’t fanciful often, but when she was she went all out apparently. She decided she would write that book, and it would be insta-love, unlike real life. Rue would be his dashing self but fall head over heels in love, the way she’d tumbled over from Rose.
But that was a story that belonged in a book and their fake relationship needed attention now. Pulling herself from her daydream, Lena hadn’t realized Rue had stood and extended his hand to her.
“Okay, what next?” It was a question she didn’t want to ask but did anyway.
“Lena, take my hand, please.” Hesitantly, she shooed Rose off her lap and obeyed.
Rue pulled her close by interlacing their hands. It felt more intimate than the hug she somehow expected. When he leaned his face to hers, her breath hitched. Rue really was a handsome man. She could make out his dark eyes and tanned skin almost crystal clear now. He had freckles, she noticed with a smile. Just like me.
“Line thirty-nine—”
Lena interrupted, “Is non-negotiable.” She tried to pull away, but Rue didn’t allow it. Even so, she didn’t feel threatened or out of control, which shocked and pleased her at the same time.
“What if I promised to wear pajama pants and not touch you in a sexual way unless you asked me to? Would you allow it then? I promise I would never do anything to hurt or scare you, I just . . .” Rue seemed flustered and it was cute. Lena—post accident Lena—had never flustered a man before.
Summoning all her bravery, she asked a question she wasn’t sure she was prepared to hear the answer to.
“You just what?”
Rue backed his face up an inch. She could see better at that distance and even made out the plea in his eyes.
“I just want to get to know you. I can’t explain it. We’ve literally only known each other for a few hours, but I want you like I’ve never wanted anyone before. But that’s not why I want to sleep in your bed with you, and I emphasize sleep. How much more intimate can two people be without having sex than holding each other when they are most vulnerable? That’s what I want, to hold you and get to know you like that.”
Rue took a deep breath and it felt important, like that sound was the preface to something vital.
“Why fake it? I’m not saying we get engaged, but let’s date. From now until your father leaves, let’s make it real. That gives us a chance to get to know each other and maybe it will lead to love and maybe it won’t, but what do you have to lose? If at the end of that time you don’t feel anything even remotely romantic for me, I’ll pack my things and leave without protest. And Rose will stay here with you . . . if you want her.”
Lena pulled back in disbelief. He would leave Rose and he wanted me? Was the moon out of alignment sending the earth’s rotation into chaos? Before she had a chance to speak, Rue soldiered on.
“I know this is all pretend, but I would like the chance to maybe make it real. See where it could lead. I know it says no relationship period, but do you think you could maybe be open to one . . . with me?”
“Why? Why would you want someone like me?”
“Someone like you who’s beautiful and fascinating and sexy as all get out? Why would I want someone like that?”
Lena paced off. She needed the space to think. Is he the one who’s blind?
“No, I mean someone like this.” She pointed to her face with all the hatred she felt for her scars.
Rue rushed to her and kissed her stupid. “No, damn it. You are more than just that. You are compassionate and kind. Rose loves you like crazy and dogs are excellent judges of character.” His kisses fell on her nose and cheek, trailing down to her neck. His lips made her dizzy and his words made her want to believe.