“Hey, do you have plans tonight? We could really use you on the drums. Our acoustic performances aren’t really that great, if you know what I mean.”
I glance at the stage and find myself nodding. “Why the hell not? I don’t have anything better to do tonight.”
Lee claps his hands together and smiles like he’s just won the lottery. When he motions toward the door, I crane my neck to see who he’s eyeing.
“Speak of the devil,” he says as I stare at Whiskey, the guy standing next to her and… the little girl holding her hand. It’s the same girl in the pictures I saved from Dhara’s profile.
Every hope I had about staying with my girl dissipates rather quickly. I know deep in my heart that the reason she’s avoiding me is because she’s in a committed relationship, despite what she told me, and was only with me yesterday to appease me. A reconciliation of our marriage is unlikely.
Turning away from the door and the look she’s giving me, I chug my beer and ask the bartender for another one.
“Hey man, don’t get drunk. I really do need you to play.”
“I’ll be good,” I tell him. “Do you have any sticks for me?” I have some in my bag back in my hotel room but I’m afraid that if I leave the bar, I’m not coming back.
“Yeah, I’ll make sure they’re with the kit when you get up there. See you in about thirty?”
“One last question, what are we playing?” Lee digs into his pocket and hands me the set list. I look it over, confident that I know all the songs. “I’ll meet you up there.”
Lee leaves me at the bar and I immediately wish I had followed him because Whiskey’s near me and being close to her is the last place I want to be right now.
And because I’ve had a little bit too much to drink, I can’t keep my mouth closed. “Well, look what the cat dragged in,” I say, taking a long pull off my bottle. I tip the bottle toward her boyfriend and smile.
“You’re drunk, Ajay,” she mutters through gritted teeth.
“Not yet but I’m thinking about heading in that direction really soon. Hey man, I’m Ajay, Whiskey’s friend.” I purposely leave out that I’m her husband because for all I know, she’s lying to him about me and as much as I’d love to air our dirty laundry, I’m not about to hurt her. Right now, I’m not sure I believe her about much of anything. Yesterday, she made it seem like they weren’t that serious but the little girl between them tells a different story.
This little girl… she’s fucking adorable and looks just like her mom with blonde pigtails and hazel eyes. She’s the same one from the photos I found on Facebook and subsequently saved on my phone. I didn’t want to believe Whiskey had a child because I knew that once I did my heart would seize, and sure enough the stabbing pain I feel is my heartbreaking. She smiles and shows me that she’s missing a tooth, but then turns shyly into her mom’s side. I get it, stranger danger. I’m all about it. Whiskey’s hand comes protectively around the girl’s shoulder, pulling her closer to her.
“She yours?” I look at Whiskey and ask one of the hardest questions I’ve ever had to ask her.
Whiskey’s eyes divert to her feet. I’m trying to hold it in, but my heart is fucking broken. Our child didn’t thrive when Whiskey was pregnant, but hers with another man did. I never thought I’d care as much as I do, but this is painful. I wipe away at the tears forming in my eyes and stand.
“Where are you going?” she asks, finally breaking the silence.
I point to the stage and clear my throat. “Lee asked me to play with the house band.”
“Oh great,” the guy with her says, “Jamie tells me you’re really good on the drums.”
Swallowing hard to get rid of all the emotions threatening to take over, I nod at the guy who has won the heart of the girl I’m in love with. “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name.”
He offers me his hand to shake and as much as I don’t want to, I’m going to be a bigger man and suck up my pride. “I’m Logan.”
“Logan, right. Well I hope you enjoy the show.”
“I’m Evelyn,” the little girls voice rings out. “And today I get to come here because it’s kids’ day.”
I crouch down and gaze into the eyes of Whiskey’s daughter. “Well Evelyn, it’s really nice to meet you. I’m Ajay.” I shake her tiny hand and walk away as soon as possible knowing full well that if I say anything else, Whiskey will know she’s gotten the best of me.
24
Jamie
After Ajay left for Nashville, I didn’t mope. I didn’t sit around waiting for him to come back. I didn’t jump every time I heard a door slam or the phone ring. I went to work, earned money so I could help move us out of my parents’ house. I fought with my dad, who took every chance he could to tell me how I made the biggest mistake of my life when I married Ajay, and I sat with my mother, night after night, watching evening game shows and laughing at corny sitcom television shows. All the while, I was wondering what my husband was up to because the phone wasn’t ringing, he hadn’t checked in and the calling card he took with him hadn’t been used.
And then, finally, the phone rang. Only it wasn’t Ajay but a guy looking for him, and I asked him when he last saw Ajay. He told me where he was performing. My husband had gotten a gig and hadn’t called to tell me, hadn’t thought to share the news with me. To say I was hurt was the understatement of our short marriage.
I told my parents I was going to Nashville. I needed to be with my husband. My father had another idea, and presented me with divorce papers, saying it would be for the best. Maybe part of me felt the same way because I took them with me, but I was determined to support Ajay, to stand by his side while he traversed the music industry. This was his dream and I was going to help him succeed. Only that wasn’t what he wanted… and neither was I.