“So I got to you, eight seconds?”
He laughs at my name I’ve given him. “I guess you did.”
I kiss his t-shirt clad shoulder. Turning his head, he gives my forehead a quick brush of his lips. Then he gets up. I’m still sitting on the hay bale from last night as he stands in front of me. Dropping to his knees he pulls me to the edge of the bale and smiles, no doubt remembering last night when both our eyes flicker to that belt buckle. I’ll never see another buckle without remembering. He wants to go again, I see it but three times in one day, I know he needs to go. There’s a little spark in his eyes that tells me there’s a part that’ll be here with me long after he’s gone.
I wonder what he’s done to me. He’s given me hope I didn’t know I had anymore. A little piece of wonder that I’m more than feeling. He’s giving me hope that I might get back that little part of my innocence that’s lying beside a white cross at a sharp bend in the road.
Stupid cowboy.
Sometimes I’m afraid he’s crazy but most bull riders are. They have to be to saddle up for an eight second ride on a one-ton beast. They’re definitely crazy.
There’s courage in what he does. There’s heart in everything he says, loving with his buckle busted ways. There’s pain in his eyes and there’s glory in his mind. He’s a bull rider, bare and bloody palms, broken but believing, holding on for eight seconds.
“You’re gonna be late.” I say pushing him away.
He smiles but he’s stalling. He doesn’t want to leave. “I’m a bull rider. We’re always running late.”
Callan senses my hesitation because he has it too. “Take care of yourself, Alanna. You’re a beautiful girl and you deserve better than the losers you’ve been with.”
“I’m holding out for a hero.” I tease, running my hands over his chest. “Until the morning light…”
He laughs shaking his head and then tips his hat up as he stands and reaches for my hand. “I ain’t no hero.”
“Callan…” I stand with him wrapping my arms around him. Before I can say anything his arms wrap around me, his lips
brushing my temple.
By the look on his face, he knows he’s potentially holding my heart in his hands. “I know what you’re going to say to me…” He presses a firmer kiss to my forehead and pulls away.
“Then let me say it.”
He doesn’t and starts to walk away. He looks back, he doesn’t want to leave. His bag hangs over his left shoulder as he adjusts it. “Nah, how about you come see me in Rocksprings and tell me then?”
The words hang there between us, waiting and I smile.
The rest of my summer just got a little more interesting.
I don’t answer him but as I watch him walk away, sometimes things don’t need to be said. They only ruin the moment.
This wasn’t our goodbye. I knew that much.
I see it. He’s gonna break my heart and test my trust with his buckle busted ways. There’s no denying that but I bet it’ll be one hell of a ride for my bruised but believing heart.
Once I’m inside my room, Jessie’s in there sleeping in my bed. I kick at the bed. “What are you doing in here?”
“I came to party with you and saw you in the barn, so I came up here.” Jessie yawns and sits up, two beer cans in my bed fall to the floor. “What the hell were you doing in there?”
“Eight seconds.”
I can barely keep the tears from my eyes when I see his truck and that dirt cloud as it swallows him up. I want to follow him, I do.
I’m going to. I’m eighteen now. This is my chance. This is me being me and doing something for me. Who’s to stop me?
My phone beeps and I think it might be Callan so I look down at it. It’s Kasey and my heart hurts reading his message. Are you available tonight?
Like I can be scheduled or something.
Callan’s right. I’m better than this. I’m not this girl and I deserve someone to love me, or at least try to. I’ve known Callan a week. Just a week. I can’t say I love him but I’m certainly wanting to know if I can. There’s something in those eyes and that smile that make me wonder. So I’m heading to Rocksprings.