We both pull away, and lust filled eyes bore into mine. Our breathing is labored. I smile at her, and kiss the tip of her nose. I need to make my move before it’s too late and I’ve shut her out for good.
“That’s the best fight I’ve ever had,” she says before standing up. She takes my hand in hers, and walks us to the door. I think I like the confession room now.
The women are teasing us. They’re in the pool bouncing up and down while tossing a beach ball around. My gaze is focused intently on Joey, in her white and blue striped bikini. Every now and again, she looks over and smiles, sending my heart into a shit storm of emotions.
My reasons for not being with her are quickly becoming excuses. At best, they’re weak ones. She’s an adult and should be able to make her own decisions on whether she wants to be with me or not. Just because we’re married doesn’t entitle me to make them for her. I can only tell her how I feel, but ultimately it’s her choice.
When I finally accepted that I’d be on this show it was my intent to guard my heart, win as many competitions as my partner and I could, wow the viewer’s so we can get the votes, and walk out a winner. But that’s all changed.
Before I entered the industry, I told myself and anyone who came along that I wasn’t getting married. Growing up in my house wasn’t an enjoyable experience. My childhood isn’t something I like to remember and I never wanted children to be a product of my situation. I know I can be different from my parents, but the fear that I’m not lingers in the back of my mind. When Jules and I broke up, it’s because she was caught a few too many times with Bronx Taylor—a man that I can’t stand for multiple reason
s. One being he sleeps with whomever he can to get a part. Sure it’s common, but when I’m losing parts because of it, it strikes a nerve. I’ve taken Jules back because she’s an easy pattern to fall into. I loved her once and can easily say that I don’t harbor any feelings toward her because of my wife; the one I married blindly and without reservation and felt an immediate draw to, the one who has put up with my crap—my back and forth bullshit on how I feel and she has never wavered on her feelings toward me—she’s the one I’m in love with. Now I just have to find a way to tell her, but it has to be done right, and not in front of the cameras for everyone to see.
Joey’s laughter brings me back to reality. Her smile is infectious and I find myself grinning like a lovesick fool for no other reason except she’s smiling and happy. I’d like to think I make her happy, but I don’t. Not yet at least, but that’s about to change.
“What’s so funny?” Cole asks as he sits down next to me with a plate of nachos. I’ve been so immersed with thoughts of Joey I hadn’t realized he had left. I look at Gary, sound asleep and snoring lightly. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think this house is boring, but that’s far from the truth. At any given moment, we have to be ready to compete.
“Just watching Joey,” I say, taking a chip off his plate.
“She’s beautiful. I think you and I got lucky. Not sure how Gary puts up with Amanda.”
Cole’s right, Joey is beautiful. She’s everything I’ve been looking for, but didn’t know I was. I needed a TV show and a blindfold to help me find my happiness.
I stare at Joey as she climbs out of the pool and walks toward the house. I want her to come over to me, but she won’t. She doesn’t cross the boundaries too much and I respect that. Once we’re behind closed doors, though, she definitely likes to test the waters.
“Where ya going?” I holler out as she passes.
“Shower,” she replies without stopping to talk.
“I think that’s my cue.” I don’t care if Cole knows what I’m about to do. For all he knows, Joey and I have been intimate this whole time. Even when Jules ousted my secret, I played it off like she’s a scorned ex.
Cole mumbles have fun as I walk by and all I can do is chuckle. I like that everyone is outside, although it won’t take long for people to start filtering in. We wouldn’t be the only couple caught in the shower, but the last thing I want is for Joey to be embarrassed.
I quickly undress and step into the shower as quietly as I can. She stands there with the water cascading over her body. Her long, toned legs and her perfect ass beckon me. Stepping forward, I mold my body to hers as if she were made for me. She’s the perfect height. I don’t have to bend over to kiss her, but I do have to lean. I can nuzzle her as we stand side-by-side and tangle my feet with hers when we sleep.
“What are you doing in here?” she asks as her ass moves just enough to cause friction.
“I thought we could shower together. You know, to conserve water and all that other environmental bullshit everyone is always spouting off.” I like that with the shower running we’re barely audible. We can’t wear mics in the water, and as long as we stay near the nozzle, the overhead mics can’t pick up what we’re saying.
Joey turns to face me. Her blonde hair is now dark and slicked back away from her face; her eyelashes wet and highlighting her beautiful gray eyes. I don’t know why I’ve waited so long. She searches my eyes for a clue, a truthful answer to her question. The words rest on the tip of tongue, but my mouth can’t open and my voice can’t seem to make the sounds necessary to tell her that I’m falling for her or that I have already fallen. It’s a deep seeded fear of rejection that must be preventing me from telling her. What if she tells me that I’m no good for her, or she doesn’t believe me?
“You want me?” she questions, knowing that I’ve given her the impression that I don’t.
“You have no idea.”
“What’s changed?”
I pause and let her question sink in. I know I need to open the floodgates and tell her everything, but doing that could have repercussions, and this isn’t the time to talk.
“You’ve changed me, Joey. You see the real me.”
Trailing the backside of my fingers along her cheekbone, I move in stealthily when she closes her eyes. My lips graze hers, pulling away slightly before taking her bottom lip in between my teeth. This feels right. It feels natural being with her like this.
“Please don’t start something that you can’t finish.”
“Oh I intend to finish, Joey,” I say as I gently back her into the wall. She hisses from the contact the cold tile makes with her warm skin. The water hits my back as I tower over her. There’s a look in her eyes, a look of want and need. I trail my lips over her shoulder, my tongue blazing a path over her skin. Her taut nipples beckon me as I bring one into my mouth, pulling lightly with my teeth as her back arches. If I don’t act fast, I’m going to not only run out of time, but also have a middle school mishap and let go too soon. While lavishing her breast, my hands cup her ass, lifting her gently so she can wrap her legs around my waist. I groan when I come into contact with her pussy.
“There are so many things I want to do to you, Joey, but that’ll have to wait until we’re in the master suite,” I whisper as I enter her. “Right now, I need to feel you wrapped around me again.” She doesn’t correct me, confirming what I already know. This isn’t our first time together and as much as I want to be angry with her for not being honest, I understand why she did it.