“But talking was what started this whole mess.”
“Yes, I know. Talking is bad—I hate it too. But trust me... You don’t ever want to let a woman think too long. Talking is awful, but thinking is worse. Especially, if they’re crying at the same time. Was she crying?”
“I think she was.”
“Go stop her! Hurry!”
CHARLIE HUDDLED IN the safety of the reading nook, letting tears flow down and wet the cushions where she was lying, curled up on her good arm. She was so confused by her feelings. Josh had said he loved her, and she wanted to believe him. But he also admitted to pretending feelings for Olivia simply to secure her marriage to him. How could she know he wasn’t doing the same thing with her?
She tried to reason things out in her emotionally charged mind, but nothing seemed to make any sense. She decided to let herself cry for a while until her emotions evened out. Maybe then she could think rationally. But just as she gave herself permission to sob out her fears, she heard Josh’s voice.
“Charlie? Baby, don’t cry. Okay? We need to talk. This is not as bad as you think it is.” He crawled into the nook and lay down on his side behind her, spooning against her back with his head propped on one hand and gently smoothing her hair back off her face with the other.
“Look, I’m confused, too,” he soothed. “But we don’t have to totally understand our emotions for everything to be okay. We only have to care about each other and the kids and commit to make the marriage work. Whatever it takes. Isn’t that what you said in the hospital? We could grow to love each other if we’re committed to it?”
“I guess s-so,” she sniffed. “But now, I’m n-not sure.”
“No, you were right. We just have to be committed. I’m committed. I’m totally committed. Are you?”
“Y-yes. But...”
“Nothing else matters. We’re going to make this work. And I’m going to make sure you’re never sorry; I’ll promise to be the best father and the best husband you could ever have. You’ve got to believe me. If there’s anything I can do, it’s this. I can commit, and I can carry through on my commitment. Do you believe me?”
She nodded. “I know you can. I believe you.”
“And the love thing. We’ll figure that out. Okay? We’ll know when we both love each other, and that’s all that matters.”
“But I still don’t believe it will happen before the wedding. I feel like you’re trying to make me believe you’re in love with me just so we can have sex.”
“I’ll wait, Charlie. I’ll wait until you think it’s the right time.” She heard the tension in his voice as he added, “As long as it takes.”
“Even if it takes weeks or months?”
“Even if it takes weeks or months.”
She couldn’t help but tease. “What if it takes years?”
“Ahhhhhhh!” he gave a pitiful wail, and Charlie couldn’t stifle a giggle. They both began to chuckle, and she turned on her back to look at him, wiping away a stray tear.
“This is for good, Josh. No changing your mind or getting bored with me, because when we do have sex, you’ll probably be disappointed.”
“Charlie, I can guarantee you I won’t be disappointed.”
“You can’t know for sure.”
“I do know. Look Charlie, you were right about having sex when you’re not in love. It’s meaningless. And I need you to know something... Since I met you, I haven’t been with any other girl.”
“Really?”
“Really. It’s been so long I can’t even remember what it’s like.”
“Really?”
He bit back a grin. “No. I remember. Want me to describe it to you? I’m looking forward to introducing you to it.”
“Josh! Don’t talk about it.” She felt the blood rush to her face.
“Why not? I think about it all the time. Imagining us—”