“Well, this is sort of a breakup.”
I braced. Was that what this was all about? He didn’t know how to let me down easy? To walk away?
“I’m thinking about stepping down from my company. At least the day to day operations.”
“What?”
That was not the angle I was expecting.
“I won’t bore you with the specifics of the publishing business, but needless to say, things are changing in a big way. I’ve been holding on to try to maintain the legacy my grandfather built. The newspaper that he loved with everything inside him. It was the most important thing to the Wainwrights and…”
“And it’s not to you?”
He bowed his head. “No.” His voice was little more than a sandpapery whisper. “I used to live for the paper, and now the only thing I love about the paper is—”
“Memories,” I finished for him.
His shoulders sagged as if my understanding helped to unburden him. “Yes.”
“Are you thinking about selling it?”
“No. No, I’d never do that. There’s far too much history there.”
“But…”
“But this is the thing I used to share with my grandfather. The paper was everything to him. It used to be the same for me.”
“What changed?”
“I don’t know. Maybe it’s the enormity of running everything. All the endless administration. I don’t know how he did it all.”
“Well, I’m sure he had a team. A good business is about more than who is on the masthead. I’m sure he taught you that.”
“He did, but he also never let me forget about the importance of leaving the Wainwright name behind when I’m gone.”
“But if you’re leaving it behind to no one, how does that work?”
“That’s the problem. I’m drowning in the business part without any of the love. All I remember is how my grandfather would beam when he talked about the newspaper. When he brought me to the printing room to show me how it all work. Ink forever stained his fingers, even when he wasn’t actually a newspaper man any longer. He loved being part of the stories.”
I tipped my head against his shoulder. “When’s the last time you read the newspaper?”
“Every issue.”
“I mean, really read it.”
He raked a hand through his hair.
I pulled down his hand and laced our fingers under the table. “A long time?”
“I honestly can’t remember when I’ve read more than the headlines I approved. I’m not the editor. We have one of those, and even he’s been going to Vincent more than to me.”
“If you love it and want to get into the creation side again, that’s not a bad thing.”
His hand tightened around mine. “I don’t.”
“You know Bess only wants you to be happy. She’s not exactly the most traditional person, Asher.”
“I know, but I feel like I’m letting everyone down. The more time I’m at work, the less time I’m here with Lily. The less time I’m here with you.” His voice was rough and low. “But then I’m here and I know I’m dropping the ball at work. Vincent has been taking on more duties and has so many ideas. Good ones that I’ve been ignoring.”