She could hardly wait to see him again. And she loved the gardens of the house he’d discovered that only opened to the public four times a year; it was full of specimen trees, and early summer was the perfect time to show it off. They wandered through the gardens hand in hand, and Abigail gasped when they went down to the lake and saw the hundreds of azaleas there reflected in the water.
‘I’ve never seen anything like this in my life. Our mums would both love it here.’ She took a photograph.
‘And with that bridge over the lake—it’s stunning.’ He squeezed her hand. ‘I always meant to take you to Giverny to see Monet’s gardens. I know you love that picture of the bridge and the lily pond.’
‘And all the tulips in his spring garden,’ she said. ‘I’d love to see that.’
‘I had so many plans for us,’ he said. ‘I wanted to make all your dreams come true.’
‘All I wanted was to be with you.’ And maybe it was time she took a risk and told him how she really felt about what had happened. ‘I loved you, Brad. I thought you loved me. I had a few doubts when you asked me to elope, but I was so sure you loved me as much as I loved you. And then, when I realised you didn’t, it was too late.’
‘I loved you,’ he said. ‘But I admit I asked you to elope for the wrong reasons.’
It felt as if he’d slapped her, and her recoil was involuntary. As were the tears she had to blink away fast.
Clearly he’d noticed, because he said, ‘That came out wrong. I meant every word of my wedding vows. I just...’ He blew out a breath. ‘I’ve never really talked about this to anyone, but Dad and I had a bit of a strained relationship.’
‘What? But your dad adored you.’
‘He wanted me to follow in his footsteps,’ Brad said. ‘Our fights weren’t in public. But it was all the little comments he made. He never once criticised Ruby about her choice of career—I guess he could see that she lived for her art and that she was really good at it—but he didn’t think much of my choice. “You’ll never make a proper living. Lab technicians are ten a penny.” He said that to me so many times.’
‘You’re not a technician. You’re a researcher,’ she said. ‘Actually, I think you would have made a good lawyer, because you pay attention to detail and you pride yourself on doing a job properly—but your heart wouldn’t have been in it. You did the right thing, choosing the subject you love.’
He looked at her. ‘That’s not how Dad saw it.’
And then she realised why Brad had really stayed away. Why he’d reacted so very badly to his father’s death. This was the unfinished business. ‘And you never got your chance to show him that you’d made the right choice because he died while you were still a student.’
Brad said nothing, but she saw the muscle clench in his cheek.
‘Your dad,’ she said, ‘loved you very much. And if he’d wanted you to read law—well, yes, of course he’d be disappointed that you didn’t. But, as I’ve said to you before, your dad was stubborn and wouldn’t listen to anyone. It would have choked him to say, “Brad, you did the right thing.” Even if you won the Nobel prize for chemistry, and you made the biggest scientific discovery of the century, he would probably still say that he was proud of you but you should have been a lawyer.’
Brad looked at her as if the whole weight of the world were on his shoulders.
‘And then at his chambers he would have been telling everyone within earshot—and that would include the set of chambers three buildings away—how his clever son was a brilliant chemist and he was going to change the world.’
‘You really think so?’
‘I’ve got no reason to lie to you, Brad. He loved you and he was proud of you. Telling you to your face would have meant admitting he was wrong about your career choice, and that isn’t what your dad did. But ask your mum. Ask Ruby. I bet they’ll tell you the same thing.’
He sighed. ‘I just wish I’d had the chance to show him I did the right thing for me.’