“I admire you. Must feel good to be able to walk out and slam the door in your boss’s face, metaphorically speaking. Not many people would do that. I’m guessing he won’t give you a reference—” She glanced at him, saw something in his face and suddenly she knew. “Oh—”
“Oh what? Why are you looking at me like that?”
“It’s you, isn’t it? This awful boss of yours—”
“I never said he was awful.”
“Scary and focused then. It’s you! You were the boss.” She felt foolish and embarrassed. “I see it clearly now. The way you paused a little too long when Kathleen was telling you what she thought of your ‘boss’, as if you weren’t sure whether to defend him or not. Why didn’t you say something?”
“Because this is a vacation.” He sounded tired. “I needed a break from it all. Work. Being the boss. All of it. I didn’t want to talk about it.”
This car was crowded with things no one wanted to talk about, Martha thought. And what good did that do? Kathleen had obviously been carrying the weight of her past around with her for decades. As far as she could see, nothing got fixed by burying it.
“So basically although you’re hitchhiking, you’re a gazillionaire.”
“I never said that.”
“But you’re super successful, and not exactly having to wonder where your next meal is coming from.” And she almost wished she hadn’t figured it out because now she felt intimidated.
No way would she have a fling with someone like him.
They were totally wrong for each other, and not only because he didn’t eat the crust from his pizza. He was a career person. Driven. Probably ruthless. The type of man who chose work over a good time. The type of man her mother would kill to see one of her daughters with.
That itself was enough to put Martha off. He probably had a million qualifications. He’d judge her, the way her family judged her. He’d tell her to get a proper job and take life seriously. With him, she’d never feel good enough.
“Life isn’t all about money.” Josh sounded relaxed and she rolled her eyes because of course he was relaxed. He wasn’t the one who had made a fool of himself.
“That’s easy to say when you have plenty. Believe me, when you don’t, it becomes something of a focus. Not that I’m greedy. I don’t need diamonds or anything—not that I’d say no to diamonds—but money, even a small amount, does give you choices. If I had money, I wouldn’t have to live with my family, and that would be good for everyone’s mental health. You’re able to take a break because you don’t have to worry about where your next meal is coming from.”
Underneath her humiliation was a layer of envy.
Josh gave her a long look. “I hope my next meal is coming from that diner up ahead, because it’s recommended in the guidebook.”
Martha barely managed to raise a smile. “You can joke, but this changes everything.”
“What does it change?” He was calm. “You want me to pay for the burgers? I was going to do that anyway. My contribution.”
“This problem goes a lot deeper than who pays for the burgers. I was comfortable with you, but now I’m not.”
“Why? What does my job have to do with anything?”
It was probably a lot easier to be casual about success when you’d experienced it. “Tell me about your company.”
“Why?”
“Because I want to know.”
He sighed. “I design and sell DBMS.”
“I don’t know what that is.”
“Database management software.”
“Still no idea what that is. Time to stop the conversation. It’s not making me feel good about myself. I don’t even understand what it is you do, let alone how you do it.”
“Basically I design software that make databases run smoothly.”
“So you don’t make something I’m likely to have used, or any individual.”