First Time in Forever (Puffin Island 1)
Emily felt something twist inside her. “I couldn’t do that.”
“Of course you couldn’t. Because you already care, Emily. You wouldn’t have taken her if you didn’t care. But you’re scared shitless.”
“That part I’m not arguing with.” She felt a stinging in her throat. “A child deserves to be loved and I can’t love her. I just can’t.” She heard the shake in her voice and knew he heard it, too. “I won’t let that happen to me again.”
“And what if you can’t stop it happening?”
“I can. I’ve been this way for so long I can’t change. Neil always told me I was cold. That I needed to be ‘thawed out.’”
He made a sound in his throat that resembled a growl and flexed his fingers. “Emily, honey, do me a favor—no more talk about Neil for a while.”
She thought he was joking, but then she looked at his face and saw the hard set of his mouth and the icy glint in his eyes.
His gaze stayed fixed to her face for a long moment, and then he scooped up the jacket he’d thrown over the chair hours earlier. “I should go.” His voice was thickened. “If you need me, call.”
The abruptness of his departure shocked her. “Wait—what about Cocoa?”
“Keep her overnight. As long as you push her into the garden by six in the morning, you shouldn’t have any accidents. I’ll call my grandmother and explain.”
She stood up, too, and saw him straighten his shoulders as if he was warding her off. “Thank you for everything you did today. I apologize for drowning you in emotion.”
“I’m not leaving because of what you told me, Emily.”
“Then why are you sprinting out of the door?”
He let out a long breath. “Because I’m not Neil.”
It was her turn to stare. “But—I don’t understand.”
“I have spent the last few hours trying manfully to ignore the fact you’re wearing nothing but a pair of very sexy pajamas.” His voice was husky. “I never thought I’d want to put you back into one of those shirts that button to the neck, but right now I’m thinking that would be a good choice of clothing.”
“You’re leaving because of my breasts?”
“No, not just because of your breasts.” He gave a crooked smile. “All of you. The shape of your face, the curve of your shoulder, the dimple in the corner of your mouth—you name it, I’m noticing it. But because you’ve had a crappy day and you’re vulnerable I am making a supreme effort to keep my hands off you and not do what I’m burning to do. Right now, that means walking out that door.”
Her heart was beating so hard she thought he must be able to hear it.
She should have just nodded.
Or maybe opened the door for him.
Instead, she asked a question.
“What are you burning to do?”
CHAPTER EIGHT
THIS WAS THE moment to leave.
He knew a mistake when he saw one, and he was definitely looking at one right now.
No single mothers. Wasn’t that his rule?
And not only was Emily vulnerable, but there were still things about him she didn’t know. Things that made it more likely she’d push him out of her house than invite him to kiss her. There was no way he was leaving her without support, and not just because Brittany would fire an arrow into his butt.
Now he knew what she was going through, he was determined to help her. And helping her didn’t involve stripping off those pajamas and pinning her to the kitchen table.
“What I’m burning to do is irrelevant.”