Cody did, for every hour of the day. Nothing Alex had said could Cody refute. He had been happy. Life had been good with Stacey in it. She had added to his life, not taken away, like Rachael had. The girls were crazy about her. He was too—heck, he was in love with her.
Was he really still letting Rachael control his life? He might have moved three thousand miles away from her yet what she had done governed every decision he made. Stacey had been right. It was time he let go. Trusted somebody. Admit that he could have that dream of a true partnership within a marriage, just with a different person. He hoped that person would be Stacey. It was finally time to move on with his life.
Just as shameful, he had looked down on Stacey for her lifestyle and had accused her of being a coward. He’d taken the high road of superiority in the knowledge that he had established a home. Living here on the island, he might not have been physically running, but what he’d been doing was certainly running emotionally. Never dating, never taking an interest in a woman, never opening up to someone. Until Stacey. He had let a destroyed dream and guilt rule his life for too long. His narrow world had become all about his girls and trying to protect them from life. What a horrible example to set for Jean and Lizzy.
Happiness was what he should be encouraging them to strive for. He’d had that with Stacey. Somehow he was going to get it back. The question now was how.
* * *
When Stacey had left Cody’s house that Sunday, she’d gone back to her cottage and picked up her already packed bag. She’d made her way to the ferry in time to take an earlier one. There had been no one there to wave goodbye to. That had only added to her sadness.
She’d sat in the corner of the sparsely populated boat, not even looking out the window. Every fiber of her being had begged to stay but her mind had told her no. It wasn’t to be. Nothing about her life was truly different than it had been before she’d come to Maple Island.
She had changed her plane reservation and ended up at her mother’s door sooner than expected. The second the door to her mother’s apartment had opened, Stacey had fallen into her arms. She had clung to her mother like she was the lifeline she was. Stacey’s heart was broken and she’d run home. Regardless of the fact her mother’s own life was so screwed up, she still remained the only constant in Stacey’s. That evening she’d told her mother she was tired and had gone to bed early.
The next morning she’d woken in a small bedroom in her mother’s apartment to the sounds of cars driving by, the trash truck banging and clanging, and people yelling through the open windows. She wasn’t in paradise anymore.
This wasn’t Maple Island, where the seagulls squawked as they fought over breakfast in the rolling waves and the sun shone warmly on her face. The one spot in all the world where Cody was, where his loving was so sweet it was almost painful. The place she’d chosen to leave behind.
She’d rolled over, burying her face in a pillow, and groaned. How had it come to this?
After their first kiss she’d never doubted it would be a difficult parting between her and Cody. Even knowing that, she’d never dreamed they wouldn’t at least part friends. She couldn’t believe she’d left with such ugliness between them. For all the wonderful memories she had stored away, those unpleasant few moments of their final fight tarnished them.
There was a knock on the bedroom door. Her mother asked, “Stacey, may I come in?”
“I guess so.” There was no enthusiasm in her response. She sounded wretched even to her own ears.
Her mother came to sit on the bed like she used to do when Stacey had been a child. “You’ve been here a day and hardly gotten out of bed. I think it’s time we talked.”
Stacey knew that was true. She needed to understand things about her mother so she could reconcile her own beliefs. Cody had made her question them. Had she really been running all these years? Fearful of feeling anything for someone? Scared of being left? Stacey didn’t want to live like that any longer. She wanted security and love. To feel special to someone. She wanted what she had lost with Cody.
“You get a shower and I’ll fix us some pancakes and you can tell me what has you so out of sorts.” This wasn’t a request from her mother but a directive.
Left with no choice, Stacey crawled out of bed and headed for the tiny bath. She stood under the water until it turned cold.
There was a sharp rap on the door. “Pancakes in five.”
Pancakes. She’d loved Cody’s pancakes. Could see him standing at the stove, grinning, as he flipped one perfectly...
Stacey dressed, and with her hair still twisted in a towel she went to her mother’s small galley kitchen. She took a seat at the two-person table next to a window overlooking a street with a few trees. Once again she longed for Maple Island.