‘Why would you turn me down?’
Her hands dropped to her sides and she looked at him with frustration, breaking up inside because he’d offered her what she wanted, knowing that she’d never take it. ‘Because guilt isn’t a good basis for a long-term relationship. And it’s cruel of you, Alessio—’ Her voice broke. ‘It’s cruel of you to stand there saying these things when you know I have to refuse.’
His eyes glittered hard. ‘I’m not letting you refuse. Why would I let you refuse when I know you’re desperate to be with me?’
She caught her breath. ‘Well, it’s nice to know your ego hasn’t suffered a blow.’
He swore under his breath. ‘We’ve always been honest with each other, but you’re not being honest with me now.’
‘Of course I am.’
Alessio raised an eyebrow. ‘So finish your sentence, tesoro. What was it you said? This gorgeous, sexy guy who I—who you what?’
Lindsay swallo
wed and looked away. ‘Just go away, Alessio,’ she muttered. ‘On balance it’s easier to deal with the paparazzi than you.’
‘You were going to say, this gorgeous, sexy guy who I love.’ His tone soft, he pulled her back into his arms. ‘I know you love me, Lindsay. You told me.’
‘And you ran away so fast you almost tripped.’
‘Running away was a reflex action. A lot of women have used those words and you have to understand that it’s instinctive for me to back off.’ He gave a driven sigh. ‘And it’s true that it took me a while to get used to the idea that you love me. But I have done that, and it’s fine.’
Lindsay gaped at him in disbelief. ‘What?’ She gave a tiny laugh. ‘You’re saying that it’s OK for me to love you? That you’re going to let me? You’re so arrogant, Alessio!’
‘No, I’m not saying that. Let me finish.’ He ran a hand over the back of his neck. ‘This is so hard.’
‘It isn’t hard, Alessio.’ She looked at him wearily, all the fight draining out of her. ‘I fell in love with you, yes. But as you rightly point out, I’m not the first woman to do that. You’ve walked away before, you can walk away again. And you don’t need to feel guilty about any of this.’ She waved a hand vaguely towards the window. ‘I honestly don’t care. They’ve probably done me a favour. I needed a change.’
‘How much of a change?’ His voice hoarse, he took her face in his hands again, tilting her chin so that she was forced to look at him. ‘Would it be too much of a change to be married to a wicked Sicilian divorce lawyer?’
‘You don’t believe in marriage, Alessio.’
‘I think expecting two people to stay together is asking a lot,’ he admitted, ‘unless they truly love each other.’
She stilled. ‘What you feel is passion. And passion is no better a basis for a marriage than guilt.’
‘That’s true, and I understand why you believe that after what you told me about your parents. But you’re missing one important fact and that’s that you can have passion and love,’ he murmured, taking her face in his hands. ‘And that’s what we have.’
‘No, we don’t.’
‘I know I’m not saying the right things, but I’m not good at this! I’ve never told a woman that I love her, before! I’m probably saying it all wrong.’
Lindsay stilled. ‘You haven’t said it at all.’
‘Sì, I told you.’ His tone was impatient. ‘I told you that I love you.’
‘No.’ She covered her mouth with her hand and shook her head. ‘No, you didn’t say that to me.’ Her legs turned to jelly.
‘Well, I’m saying it now,’ he growled, removing her hand so that he could crush his mouth against hers. ‘I love you, tesoro.’
She felt light-headed and terrified at the same time. Terrified of believing him. ‘You’ve never loved anyone—’
‘No.’ He folded her in his arms. ‘I haven’t. I saw how much pain loving my mother caused my father. In the small village in Sicily where I grew up, divorce just wasn’t an option. And frankly, I don’t know whether he would have divorced her even if he’d been given the chance. But I lived with his misery and I felt—helpless. I suppose that’s why I saw divorce as a good thing. He should have moved on—maybe met someone else.’
Lindsay looked up at him, understanding. ‘It’s so hard when you’re a child—you want to help, and you can’t. And they think it’s just about them, but it affects you, too.’
Alessio nodded. ‘I’ve never talked to anyone about it before.’