‘Who makes these rules?’
‘Society.’
‘And do you never break rules?’
‘Sometimes.’ Millie looked at him cautiously. ‘But I was desperate not to embarrass you or make you ashamed.’
‘Suddenly everything is falling into place.’ Leandro spun to face her, his voice harsh. ‘Why didn’t you tell me you felt this way? Why not just have a conversation?’
‘Telling your husband that you feel out of place and unattractive isn’t the easiest conversation to have. I suppose part of me thought that if I said it aloud, I’d draw attention to it.’ As if he hadn’t already noticed. ‘We had fundamental problems that no amount of words could fix. And after the accident, well, I knew I was going to have bad scars. The break in my leg meant that I was in hospital for ages. There was no way you would want to be with someone like me.’
‘You reached that conclusion by yourself?’ His tone was tight and angry and she felt her own tension increase.
‘Yes. You’re a man who demands perfection in every part of his life,’ she said quietly, ‘and I was so far from perfect. I was already insecure about how I was—the accident just made it all worse. Can’t you see that?’
‘What I see is that we left too many things unsaid. I also finally understand why you were so quick to condemn me when you saw me with your sister.’ His voice was low and rough in the semi-darkness. ‘Your own confidence was at such a low point that it didn’t occur to you that I could be faithful to you. It seems as though you were resigned to the fact that I’d have an affair. You seemed to regard it as inevitable. You assumed that I would prefer your sister.’
Had she been wrong about that? For the first time ever a significant rush of doubt seeped into her brain. ‘You and my sister—that was a much more obvious relationship than you and me.’ But she was starting to wonder. ‘Even if that hadn’t happened then—with her—it would have happened eventually. Sooner or later some woman would have come along and caught your attention. Maybe you did find me attractive—but the novelty would have worn off. We weren’t meant to be together, Leandro.’ Millie pulled her robe more tightly around her. ‘My accident just brought that home to me.’
‘You’ve just made a great number of assumptions.’
‘Did you come after me, Leandro?’ Gently withdrawing her hand from his, she stood up. The soft lap of water against the side of the pool mingled with the sounds of the Mediterranean. In the distance she could hear the hiss of the sea on the sand, the chirping of the cicadas as they sang their night-time chorus. ‘If you’d wanted me, you would have tracked me down. You’re that sort of man. You go after what you want. And you didn’t go after me.’ Whatever doubts might be in her head, that, at least, she was sure about. ‘Not even when my sister sent the baby to you.’ She managed to keep the emotion out of her voice. ‘I’m going to go to bed now. We can talk about what you want to do in the morning. Can I ask you one favour?’
His jaw tightened. ‘Ask.’
‘Whatever happened before is irrelevant. What matters is how things are now. Who I am now. You’ll want to divorce me, and I understand that.’ She stumbled over the words. ‘But will you let me have custody of Costas? Whatever the will said, you have good lawyers and I’m his blood relative. I can’t afford to fight for him.’ She glanced at his face and saw the tension etched there. ‘Just think about it.’ And then she turned and walked back into the villa.
CHAPTER
NINE
LEANDRO stood in the doorway of the guest bedroom, staring at the slight figure under the silk sheet.
She reminded him of an animal that had crawled away to die. And he knew she wasn’t asleep.
She was hurt.
Because of him.
His tension mounted. Wasn’t he the one who had told her that there was always more going on in a picture than first appeared? And had he taken his own advice? No. He’d seen and he’d judged.
And he knew why. No matter how distasteful it was to admit it, his own past had coloured the present. When she’d walked out…
Guilt, an unfamiliar emotion, clawed at his body but he thrust it away, knowing that regret would do nothing to fix the current situation.
So many words unspoken, he thought grimly, closing the door quietly and walking towards her. His bare feet made no sound on the cool tiles but he knew she’d heard him because he saw the defensive movement of her shoulders.
‘I have lost count of the number of times you’ve turned your back on me in our short marriage, Millie,’ he said softly, ‘and I allowed you to do it. But I’m not allowing it any more. Those days are over.’
‘Go away, Leandro.’ Her voice was muffled by the pillow and he saw her curl up just a little bit tighter, as if trying to make herself as small as possible.
This less than flattering response to his presence sent new tension through his already rigid frame. ‘I’m not good at apologies,’ he confessed, and then frowned as she curled up smaller still. ‘But I know I owe you a big one.’
‘You honestly don’t have anything to apologise for. No man in their right mind would find me attractive.’
She thought he was apologising because he didn’t find her attractive?
Stunned by her interpretation of his remark, Leandro struggled to find a suitable response and decided that, whatever he said, she wasn’t going to believe him.