No. No, she wouldn’t.
Holly closed her eyes, trying to ignore the raw wound caused by his admission that the whole day had been a lie.
She’d felt lonely before, but nothing had come close to the feeling of isolation that engulfed her following Casper’s rejection.
She desperately wanted to talk to someone—to confide.
But there was no one.
She was alone.
Except that she wasn’t really alone, was she? She had their baby to think about—to protect.
Once he or she was born, she’d be able to prove that Casper was the father. And until then she just had to try and keep their hopelessly unstable little family unit together.
That was all that mattered.
Starved of affection from Casper and desperately worried about the future, Holly threw herself into palace life and her royal duties.
She spent hours pouring over a map until she was familiar with every part of Santallia. Determined to develop the knowledge of a local, she persuaded Emilio to drive her round. The result was that she shocked and delighted the public by her frequent impromptu appearances. Oblivious to security or protocol, she talked to everyone, finding out what they liked and how they felt.
And one thing that always came across was how much they loved Casper.
‘You’re just what he needs,’ one old lady said as Holly sat by her bed in the hospital, keeping her company for half an hour after an exhausting morning of official visits. ‘After the accident we thought he wouldn’t recover, you know.’
Holly reached forward to adjust the old lady’s pillows. ‘You mean because he was so badly injured?’
‘No. Because he lost so much. But now he has you to love.’
But he didn’t want love, did he?
Holly managed a smile. ‘I need to go. Tonight it’s dinner with a president and his wife, no less. Do you want more tea before I go?’
‘I want you to tell me about the state visit. What will you be wearing?’
‘Actually, I’m not sure.’ Holly thought about her extensive wardrobe. No one could accuse Casper of being stingy, she thought ruefully. The trouble was, she now had such a variety of gorgeous designer clothes that choosing had become impossible, but even that wasn’t a problem, because she now had someone to do it for her. When she’d first realised that a member of staff had been employed purely to keep her wardrobe in order and help her select outfits, she’d gaped at Casper.
‘You mean it’s someone’s whole job just to tell me how to dress?’
He’d dismissed her amazement with a frown. ‘How else will you know what to wear for the various occasions? Her job is to research every engagement in advance and make the appropriate choice of outfit. It will stop you making an embarrassing mistake.’
The news that he found her potentially embarrassing had done nothing for Holly’s fragile confidence, and she’d humbly accepted the woman’s help.
Thinking of it, Holly smiled at the old lady. ‘I think I’m wearing a blue dress. With silver straps. A bit Hollywood, but apparently the president loves glamour.’
‘You’re so beautiful, he’ll be charmed. And blue is a good colour for you. I’ve been admiring your bracelet—I had one almost exactly like that when I was your age.’ The woman’s eyes misted. ‘My husband gave it to me because he said it was the same colour as my eyes. I lost it years ago. Not that it matters. The trouble with getting old is you don’t have the same opportunities to dress up.’
‘You don’t need an occasion,’ Holly said blithely, slipping the bracelet off and sliding it onto the old lady’s bony wrist. ‘There. It looks gorgeous.’
‘You can’t give me that.’
‘Why not? It looks pretty on you. I must go or they’ll start moaning at me. Try not to seduce any of the doctors.’ Holly rose to her feet, silently acknowledging that part of her was reluctant to return to the palace. She loved visiting everyone and chatting. When she was out and about and talking to people, it was easier to pretend that she wasn’t desperately lonely.
That her marriage wasn’t empty.
Casper seemed to think that presents were a reasonable substitute for his company.
It had taken only a couple of days for her to discover that he set himself a punishing work schedule, spending much of the day involved in state business or royal engagements.