A voice told me she wouldn’t, but I shoved it down, giving Hanna the opening to talk to me about any misplaced feelings.
Hanna’s eyes softened. “Thanks, Ian. You’re always there for me.”
“Always will be, kid.”
With a nod, she headed back to her office the floor below, and I headed to mine with a weight lifted off my chest.
I’d been working non-stop when my cellphone vibrated across my desk.
“Bergamo,” I answered.
“Ian?”
Carina’s soft voice had me sitting back from the computer and smiling. I’d never tire of hearing her say my name.
“Hey, babe. What’s up?”
“You coming home tonight?”
I looked at the time. “Shit. I didn’t realize it was so late. I’m trying to finalize this contract. I can finish it tomorrow though.”
“It’s okay. Finish it tonight and that way you’re home tomorrow night. No need to stay late two days in a row.”
“You sure?”
“Of course. Is Erik staying late too?”
“Nah. It’s just me, myself, and I shutting down the building.”
“Poor baby.”
“I know. Promise to soothe me later with a blow job.”
She snorted her laugh, and I could imagine her rolling her eyes perfectly. “You wish.”
“I do wish. I’ll see if I can earn it when I get home.”
“I can’t wait.”
“Bye, babe. Tell Audrey goodnight for me.”
“Bye.”
I hung up and let the happiness of my life wash over me. I had a beautiful, smart, caring girlfriend and probably the best baby that was ever created. All waiting for me at home and I couldn’t wait.
I threw myself into my work so I could get home sooner. I was finishing up a few final details when Hanna knocked on my open door. She had her purse, and coat cinched tight.
“Heading out?”
“Yeah. In a bit. I just wanted to see if you happened to still be here.”
I rolled back my chair and held my arms wide. “In the flesh.”
Hanna stepped into my office, setting her purse down and taking a deep breath.
“You said I could talk to you,” she started, fidgeting with the tie around her coat, not meeting my eyes. “Well, there is something I’ve wanted to say for a while and the more time that passes, the more my chance of saying it slips away.”
Oh, shit.
Warning bells rang like sirens in my head. They all sounded a lot like Carina telling me I told you so. She was right, and I was fucking dumb.
I stood from my chair, needing to move and approach this with care. This was Hanna. I couldn’t brush it off from behind my desk.
I made it around, standing only a few feet from her. “Hanna, you don’t—”
“I love you,” she said, halting me in my tracks. She looked up at me, her eyes wet, and my heart broke. “I’ve loved you for so long, and I didn’t think I could ever love anyone. I didn’t think I’d ever feel anything like this. Not after what happened. Not after losing Sophie.”
Each word dropped like a landmine between us. Each word twisted like a vice around my lungs, squeezing them tighter and tighter until I was sure I couldn’t suck in another breath.
“Hanna,” I breathed. “Shit—Carina…”
My body ached with thoughts of how this conversation would end. There was no good way out of it, and it terrified me to hurt her.
“I—I know,” she admitted before swallowing hard. Her cheeks burned red hot, and I hated everything about this situation. “But you need to know how I feel. Know that there’s someone else who loves you—who’s always loved you.”
“God, Hanna. You know I love you—”
Her trembling hands moved with purpose, undoing the sash around her coat before tugging it open to reveal barely-there black lingerie.
Shooting my eyes to the ceiling, I took the last step toward her, and tried to close the coat, only succeeding in pulling her closer. Her bare skin brushed my hands and I cringed because this was Hanna—the girl who’d been like my baby sister almost all my life.
“I l-love you, Ian.” I could hear the tears in her voice, and it pierced at my heart. She pressed close, trapping my hands between us, her hands sliding around my neck and pulling me down to kiss me.
Her lips landed at the corner of my mouth, and I broke my hands free, gripping her hips to push her back.
Movement over Hanna’s shoulder had me freezing, allowing Hanna to step closer and rub against me, pressing an open-mouthed kiss to my neck.
“Carina…”
Her wide eyes filling with tears unlocked my muscles, and I pushed Hanna back, but it was too late.
She stood there with a paper bag of food in her hands. The other pressed to her chest like she was trying to hold her heart together. Time stood still, slowing down so I could memorialize the biggest mistake of my life. So I could always look back and remember the time I fucked up and lost the best thing I’d ever had.