Because I don’t care. I don’t.
AUSTIN
The next day was just like all the other days. Cole picked me up. We dropped off Lilly and then went to school. Once again, he didn’t say anything to me, but he kissed me before class and made sure to put his hands on me. I didn’t push him off.
His words and stares are so cold, but when he touches me, he’s hot as fire. It doesn’t make any sense. And he’s starting to get in my head. The back and forth with our bickering. The way I like that he touches me. The way he is with Lilly. He thinks the world of that little girl. And every time I see him kiss her goodbye when we drop her off at school makes my chest hurt. I wanna ask why he seems to do everything for her but can’t quite find the words. And I know he would ignore me. Cole is good at that, and it drives me crazy!
I haven’t had many boyfriends. I only ever dated Martin, and he was nothing like Cole. So dark. So closed off. Something about him keeps me guessing. Makes me wonder what happened to him that has made him this way at such a young age.
Cole reaches over and grabs a fry off my plate, smearing it in ketchup as we sit in the cafeteria.
“We have a team meeting today,” Deke tells him.
“I know. I got the message.” Cole nods, looking down at his phone.
“Hey, we’re going to the movies tonight. You guys wanna go?” Becky asks as she steals a fry from my plate. At this rate, I’m not gonna get any.
“Can’t,” I say through a mouthful of cheeseburger. “We’re having dinner with my father and stepmom.”
Deke is trying to pull her to him for a kiss, but she pushes him away. Shane and Bennett are too busy on their phones, but Kellan gets up, throws Cole a look of hatred, and then walks off. Cole ignores him completely.
“Meeting the parents, huh?” Becky smiles. “Things getting serious.”
I choke on my cheeseburger, and Deke snorts.
“I knew her father long before I started fucking her,” Cole replies flatly.
Becky gasps, and Deke chuckles like what he said was actually funny. I roll my eyes. He can be such a prick.
As we walk out of the cafeteria, I stop at his locker with him. “What’s up with you and Kellan?” I ask.
He looks over at me for a quick second and then starts to dig in his locker. “Getting personal? Didn’t think we did that.”
I snort. “You seem to get really personal with me.”
He shuts his locker and throws his arm over my shoulders as he walks me to my class. I notice the people who stare at us as they walk by, but I ignore them. “It’s nothing to worry about,” he says.
“I’m starting to feel like he’s more of a threat to my life than Deke is,” I say and give a nervous laugh. At least now Becky is keeping all his attention.
He stops walking and turns to face me. We stand in the middle of the hallway, and he stares down at my face with no emotion. He lifts his right hand and pushes a piece of hair behind my ear. Then his fingers continue downward and run over my hickey I have covered up. And fear creeps up my spine.
He’s no better than the rest. Out of all five of them, he’s the one who has done the most damage.
I take a step back from him, and his hand drops to his side as his blue eyes meet mine. “I’m no better.” He says what I’m thinking.
I swallow nervously.
“I still wanna hurt you. I still wanna see you bleed. And I think of you bent over that countertop every second of the day.” His hand reaches out and snakes around my waist, pulling me in. “The way you looked when you came … the way you cried out my name … it just made me want all those things even more. Don’t think I’ve changed, Austin. Because I haven’t. And I won’t.”
I tilt my head back to look up at him. My heart pounds in my chest. “Are you saying I should be afraid?”
He leans his head down and whispers into my ear, his hand still splayed across my back, holding me in place. “You should be terrified, sweetheart.” My breath hitches. “Because I’m gonna get what I want.”
“Which is?” I can’t help but ask.
“Everything you have to give.”
_________________________________
“You okay?” Becky asks as she shoves my arm.
“Huh?” I ask, looking over at her as we stand in the parking lot waiting for the guys to finish their meeting with their coach. Cole was able to get Blanche to pick Lilly up from school today, so I stayed with Becky to wait on the guys.